AllFreeNovel
Share Us
How is she doing now?I type, then hit send.
She’s sleeping, but I don’t want to leave her. She’s already puked twice. Alcohol has never agreed with her.What are you doing?
Writing,I reply.Or trying to, but I can’t focus on anything except texting the most perfect woman alive.
Whoa, you’re texting somebody else?
I’m about to typenowhen another message arrives.
I’m only kidding. Thank you. I know you hate when I use the S-word, so I won’t say it, but I am disappointed tonight finished early.
Me too. Disappointment doesn’t really even come close. You looked so gorgeously confident when you said you were ready or were about to before the phone call.
I want to be confident. I want to be the woman you deserve.
Zoey, let me worry about being the man you deserve. You’re already everything I ever want.
We’re steering close to the real heart of the issue. The certainty I feel that putting a baby in this woman’s womb is my greatest responsibility.
Mom mentioned you,Zoey texts.I’ve been debating telling you about it, but I think I have to. I can’t hide it.
What did she say?
Zoey takes a long time to respond. At first, I watch my phone, but when no text appears, I attempt to type a few words instead. I manage to hammer out a paragraph, and I count that as a victory.
Writing will be easier when I’ve got a desk that overlooks the backyard, when I can look down on the sun-flecked lawn, Zoey and our children playing, swimming in the pool, or simply sitting in the sun. I’ll have all the motivation I need right there.
Finally, she texts back.
She said she wishes she could take it back. She said Dad would hate her if he ever knew what she did. She said a whole bunch of stuff, Jax, but none was specific. Each time she spoke, it was like she was stabbing me in the heart. I know I’ve committed a writer’s sin by being this melodramatic, but I don’t care. That’s how it felt.
You’re angry,I reply, no need to add a question mark.
It’s not fair not knowing what happened between you two. It’s not fair having to imagine what happened. It’s not fair comparing every moment we share to a moment you and Mom shared.
I lean back in my chair, close my eyes, and Luke’s serious face appears. I made a promise to take care of his family.
“Do whatever Mallory needs. Support her in any way you can. Please, bro.”
I didn’t just make a promise to Luke.
How can we go on?Zoey texts when I don’t respond.I can’t sleep with a man my mom slept with. I can’t keep pretending nothing happened. We’re dancing around it, pretending it’s not happening.
It’s difficult, I know.
That’s not much of a response. It IS difficult, but only because you won’t tell me the truth. I asked Mom. She won’t tell me. Maybe she would now when she’s drunk, but that’s not fair, getting information out of her when she won’t even remember giving it to me.
I can’t tell you unless she does,I reply.I made a promise.
You’re putting me in a horrible position.
What position?I type, clenching my jaw, my heart hammering.
Something terrible is about to happen.
The position of having to end this. I don’t want us to stop. I would’ve gone to a hotel with you if Mom hadn’t called tonight. Or your place. I’m not saying I would’ve been everything you deserve, but I would’ve tried… but now? What am I supposed to do? She was crying, begging me for forgiveness for what she did with you.
I stand, leave my office, go onto the balcony, and suck in the cool night air. What was it Peter said? I’m putting duty over desire, but this proves he’s wrong.
