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We can talk to your mom and get her to reveal the truth.
She won’t. You know she won’t.
We can try.
I’m sorry, Jax. I know you hate when I apologize, but this warrants it. I think we have to stop seeing each other.
Is that what you want?
No.
I stare at her one-word message and the three dots beneath it.
I don’t think we have any other choice,she texts back.I can’t make a real decision if I don’t know what happened. I can’t exist in this dark place anymore. This hurts so much. I DO want you. You could even say I NEED you, Jax, but we have to be mature about this.
You’re just shaken up because your mom…
I leave the message unsent, realizing what I’m doing. I’m devaluing her feelings, trying to convince her to do the wrong thing. She’s determined to do therightthing. Who am I to stop her? I know I can’t go on without her, either.
Is this really what you want to do?
It’s what we have to do. Let’s cool off. Put the brakes on. I’ll try to talk to Mom and get the truth out of her.
And if she won’t tell you?I ask.
Then I guess you’ll have to, or we’ll be forced to go our separate ways.
I pull my hand back reflexively, only realizing what I’m about to do at the last second. I was going to toss my phone off the balcony.
You’re putting me between a rock and a hard place.
I know it’s not fair, but it’s not fair for me to keep going when I don’t know the truth.
She’s right, and maybe this is it. Maybe there’s no other choice.
You tried to keep your distance at the start. Remember the silent treatment?
I was trying to do the right thing,I reply.
That’s exactly what I’m doing.
You’re right,I type, each word hurting me.We shouldn’t be doing this. We should try to be better.
So you agree?
No, I hate this, but I can see the sense in what you’re saying.
Then goodbye, Jax. Maybe one day we’ll look back on this as just some crazy, weird thing we did, a strange adventure we went on together. Even if it didn’t end how we wanted, I’m glad it happened.
Me too,I reply, hating the past, hating this, hating everything.Goodbye, Zoey.
CHAPTER19
Zoey
Goodbye, Zoey.
How many times have I read those words now? It’s almost been a week since our date when we came close to trying to have sex together. I always think of it astryingsince I’ve got the photo of his huge manhood and the knowledge of my virginity, imagining how difficult it would be, but it doesn’t matter now.
