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Let’s do it,I type.We have to try. I’ll tell Mom we both want to speak with her. At least we’ll know if we have a shot when it’s all over.
What if Mom tells me she and Jaxson were in a relationship? What if she tells me I’m right to harbor all my worst fears?
We’re going to make this work, Zoey.
I hope you’re right.
We have to. The other choice is to pretend this never happened, and I can’t do that.
Neither can I,I reply.It’s too painful.
“We’re going to do it,” I tell Natasha. “We’re going to tell her.”
“Good luck,” she replies. “I have this feeling that everything’s going to work out. You’re going to have the relationship you deserve.”
I hope she’s right.
CHAPTER20
Jaxson
Mom seems suspicious as hell, but she’s agreed to meet us tomorrow evening.
I nod as I read her message, knowing how unlikely this is to work.
First, I have to tell Mallory how much her daughter means to me… all while I haven’t toldZoeyyet. We’ve made vague statements about how much we need each other and how difficult it is to stay apart. The concrete stuff—the kids, the marriage, the love—is still hiding in the dark.
Sitting up in my armchair, I immediately forget the documentary I was watching. I’ve been doing that a lot this week, attempting to immerse myself in books and movies and anything else to distract me, and it all ends with me fantasizing about Zoey. It’s not just intimate stuff, not just physical—though there’s a lot of that—but the whole world of our future, too. Small moments, like sneaking up behind her, slipping my arms around her, and cradling her belly with my hands.
“What do you think? Are you ready for another kid?”
Then she’ll turn and beam up at me,“I’ve been waiting for you to ask.”
We can do this together.
Let’s work out exactly what we’re going to say.
I swallow, remembering my conversation with Peter. At the gym, he asked why I was so grumpy… grumpier than usual. When I told him Zoey and I were trying to end things, I expected him to be relieved. Instead, he told me he hated seeing me like that. He wanted me to be happy.
“If you can find a way to do this aboveboard, you owe it to yourself to try, but that means telling Mallory the truth.”
Jax?Zoey texts when I don’t respond.
Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. A week was long enough.
So…
We’ll tell her the truth,I text.
But what IS the truth? We kissed. We were intimate, and now we want to date? I’m not trying to be argumentative. I just think we should get our story straight.
I know I should hold off, but she’s right. We need to be clear about this, and I hate withholding the truth from her. Or perhaps it’s simply that the fire in me is burning too hot, the flames licking at my self-control.
The truth is, you belong to me,I type quickly, feeling like I’m possessed by a spirit, by my woman.The truth is, I knew you were mine the second I laid eyes on you, and by “mine,” I mean…
Here comes the bombshell. Warning bells ring in my mind, throughout me, sharp and cutting, but I’ve experienced a week without my woman. There’s no way I can live the rest of my life without her, too.
I mean, I’m going to marry you one day. I mean, there’s no other woman I want, and the thought of you with another man EVER makes me sick. It means I see a bright future for us, filled with happiness, laughter, and love. It means that thinking of a future without you is impossible for me. It means that every inch of your virgin body is mine and every piece of your soul, too.
