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“No, no, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I…I was just…going upstairs. Pardon me.”
I rush past her as fast as I can without actually running. The moment I clear the room, I feel my mind go blank again. It’s a defense mechanism—you can’t think about bad things if instead you just think about nothing at all.
But that doesn’t last forever.
As soon as the adrenaline ebbs, the terror creeps back up in my throat like a red tide. The plan is to get to my room, but my knees give way somewhere between the landing and the door. I end up sitting on the floor of the corridor with my arms wrapped around my knees, rocking back and forth. I take in big breaths, but that isn’t helping.
Oh God…oh God…why did I come back?This was all a huge mistake. I wandered into a vipers’ nest with my throat bared and my hands spread wide. They’re lunging now and taking chunks out of me—all the mistakes I've made come back home to roost.
By the time I register footsteps, it’s too late for me to scramble away. I have just enough time to turn to the side before I spot him.
Ilarion looks so much taller from where I’m curled up on the floor. Those piercing blue eyes of his land on me with menacing curiosity.
“Go away,” I croak.
He lofts a brow. “This is my house.”
“Don’t care,” I grumble. “Go away.”
He does the opposite of what I asked, instead dropping to a squat in front of me. “What’s going on?”
“‘What’s going on’?” I snort. “What kind of question is that?”
“The obvious kind,” he replies with a tilt of his head. “You’re lying on my floor in the fetal position.”
“There’s enough room for you to pass.”
“Not until you tell me what’s going on. Did Mila say something?”
“This has nothing to do with Mila.” I keep my gaze averted.Why the hell couldn’t I have just dragged myself the rest of the way to my room?My cheeks flame with color, but I have no choice but to ignore that and pretend like I’m not making a complete fool of myself right now.
“Celine, then?” I flinch, giving myself away, and he nods. “Ah. The two of you have been catching up.”
“Can you please go? Tell the maid to clean around me if I’m still here when she comes.”
“Do you need help getting back to your room?”
“I need you to walk away.”
I hear him sigh wearily and feel the warm brush of his exhale on my skin. “Asking for help doesn’t make you weak, Taylor.”
“I don’t mind asking for help. I just don’t want any help fromyou.”
He bristles for a moment, his eyes boiling with those thousand-and-one emotions he refuses to uncage. Then he nods, rocks back, and sits on the opposite side of the hall, facing me.
Wonderful.
“I’m going to sit here until you start talking.”
The sun beams down through a skylight overhead. It picks up my foot and Ilarion’s where they linger near each other on the hallway runner. The rest of each of us is bathed in sharp shadows.
“She slit her wrists.” I meant for it to come out far more accusingly, but I’m emotionally drained. It just sounds as sad as it makes me feel.
He slowly nods. “I’m surprised she told you.”
“She didn’t tell me.” I sigh and close my eyes against that image I can’t quite scrub from my mind. “I saw the scars.”
“Ah.”
