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“Oh, let me guess,” he muses. “I’m the bad guy in this story.”
“She’s not used to beinghugged, Ilarion!” I’m pretty sure spittle flies out of my mouth when I yell that at him. “She acted like a hug was the greatest thing on Earth! Why is that? Why is she so starved for touch?”
He blinks placidly. “I’m not much of a hugger. And you’ve met Mila.”
“You’ve hugged me.” The moment the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. “Pretend I didn’t say that.”
“I’m not as good at pretending as you seem to be.”
“The fuck you aren’t.” My god, he’s infuriating. “Give me a break here, Ilarion. I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“For who? Yourself?”
“This is not about protecting myself!” I furiously insist. “I can handle Cee being mad at me. What I can’t handle is breaking her heart because she had the misfortune of bad timing.”
“Fucking hell, woman.” His eyes flash like thunderbolts. “You really think that’s all it was?Timing?”
“Well—"
“It wouldn’t have mattered when I met you or Celine. Before, after, it wouldn’t have made the slightest fucking bit of difference. It was always, always going to be you.”
Oh…God.
My legs have turned to jelly in the two seconds it takes for Ilarion to get to his feet. His blue eyes are sapphire bright. He’s turning me to putty where I stand and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.
Truth be told, I was putty from the start.
“Y…you shouldn’t say things like that.”
He shrugs like what he just said wasn’t absolutely life-changing, life-ruining—take your pick. “I’ll say it because it’s the truth.”
“Then lie. Lie to me, to her, to yourself if you have to.” I swallow the traitorous parts of myself that want to hear the truth. “Do whatever it takes to stick to the damn narrative.”
“I didn’t write this narrative for us.Youdid.”
“And I would do it again!” I exclaim. “I’m not exactly sure why, but she still loves you.”
“How are you so fucking blind, Taylor?”
I stop short, taking in the furrows in his brows. I glance down at his hands and I notice his knuckles are white. He’s not even close to as calm as I first thought he was. Like me, he’s burning up with wanting something that’s so close and yet so very fucking far away.
“She suspects that you’re in love with another woman,” I say softly.
“Is there a question in that?”
“Have you been having affairs?”
“Are you asking for Celine, or yourself?”
“Fuck you.”
The corner of his mouth twitches upwards, but it looks more like a grimace than a smile. He walks around the desk, his footsteps landing heavily against the wooden floorboards.
“I don’t know why, but despite the fact that she thinks you’re cheating on her, she’s still decided to stay.”
Now, he smirks at me, like he finds this whole thing hilarious. “Both of you have a habit of jumping to conclusions, you know that? Besides, she’s living pretty comfortably with my wallet in her hand.”
I snarl at him. “Howdareyou! Cee would never stay for something as superficial as money. She’s staying because she’s hoping that you’ll fall in love with her.”
