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“Not a chance. I would have taken you instead. And this time, I would have actually meant it.”
My heart throbs inside my chest. Or maybe it just stops beating altogether. All I know is I’m floundering in a sea of hopelessness and disbelief.
Hecan’tmean that. He can’t.
“Well, here we are.” I can’t think of anything better to say. “You powered through before. Why not do it again?”
He turns away from me, his features ironing out in that way they do when he doesn’t want me reading the expressions on his face. “Because this time is not about revenge, or the Bratva, or Benedict Bellasio,” he says. “This time, I want what I want.”
He glances back at me. His gaze is direct and burning. I can’t look away, even though I know I should.
“And what I want isyou.”
The air in the room grows hot and oppressive so fast that my skin feels like it’s blistering. He waits for my response, but I have no idea how to respond to that.
If I answer him honestly, I’ll be betraying my sister.
If I lie to him, he’ll see right through me.
So I do the only thing I can do under the circumstances. I do what I did the first time when I couldn’t see a way through the mess.
I turn and run.
39
ILARION
Once the urge to chase after her and drag her back has passed, I escape the den and venture out into the garden in search of Adam.
My son calms me down like nothing else. More than either of his daughters, Archie has Adam to thank for his life. Because when I laid eyes on the traitor again after so long, the urge to kill him wasn’t quite as overwhelming as it once was. It was still there, of course, but tempered. Sated—for now.
Adam is equal parts storm and sunshine. I can see all the parts he’s inherited from his mother, and I can see the potential he has in him to become like me. I can see the strength that’s pure Mila and the kindness that’s all Celine’s. And even though I had no part in his upbringing, it makes me proud.
It makes me want to be a part of the rest of his life.
“Looking for someone?” Mila asks from the side of the pool when I walk out onto the deck.
“Adam.”
She smiles. “He’s in his nursery with Edna.”
“Who the fuck is Edna?”
Mila smirks. “The new nanny, of course.”
“Taylor hired a nanny?” I ask just before the realization hits. “No,Celinehired the nanny.”
“Yeah. I believe she discussed it with Taylor.”
“She should have fucking discussed it withme.”
“Why?” Mila asks. “You’re not his father.”
I glare at her. “You really know how to push my buttons, don’t you?”
She gives me a noncommittal shrug. “Don’t kill the messenger.”
“Upstairs in the nursery, you said?”
