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"I could help you with that," I tell her shyly.
"You don't think it's silly?"
I shake my head and move to her side, gazing out at the greenery growing in its neat, tidy rows. Bots handle most everything but there are certain things that need human—or mesakkah—intervention. "I can see the appeal of being in the sun and fresh air and making your own food, especially after growing up on a station."
"It might be…nice." Haina glances over at me. "What about you? What did you want to be when you became an adult, if not a farmer?"
I want to lean closer to her. To rest my head on her shoulder. To let her encircle me in her arms and burrow against her warmth and protective embrace. But…I also want her to reach for me, first. I need that. "It's strange, because back on Earth, you're expected to know what you want to do for the rest of your life when you turn eighteen. You're still practically a kid, though, and you're supposed to have your mind made up. When I was eighteen, I didn't know what I wanted…and then I got taken by aliens and it didn't matter."
"And now?" She watches me closely.
"Fifteen years later?" I shrug. "I still haven't really given it much thought. It's not what I want to do with my life. It's what I want to be, if that makes sense."
"And what do you want to be?" Haina prompts.
I pause, feeling vulnerable. "Loved."
She's silent, and I swallow hard. I'm not good at exposing my emotions. At being raw and honest. Everything in me that's learned to protect myself screams to retreat, but I know that if I want Haina—and happiness—I have to come out of my shell, just a little.
"It's a good thing we met, then," Haina says, her voice soft. She turns toward me and reaches for my hand, lacing my fingers with hers.
My heart floods with warmth, and I gaze up at her, full of yearning and adoration. I've been so in love with her from the moment I heard her laughter. If she never left my side for the rest of my life, I'd be the happiest woman in existence. Hearing her return my feelings is overwhelming, but in the best way. "I love you, too, Haina."
She squeezes my fingers and with her other hand, brushes her knuckles along my jaw. The gentle caress is like a balm for my anxiety, and I relax under her touch. She wants me as much as I want her.
"Can I kiss you?" she asks, and I nod. She leans in and brushes her lips gently over mine, and her hand trails from my jaw down my neck. "Can I take your clothes off and keep kissing you? Everywhere?"
I shiver with anticipation. "Only if you get undressed, too."
Chapter Four
"You can undress me." She releases my hand and takes a step back so I can see all of her. "I'm all yours."
With a little smile, I reach for the auto-fastener at the collar of her pink and red bodysuit. "Should we move away from the window?"
"Why? No one's going to see but your vegetables." She grins at me. "Unless you think they're shy."
I giggle at the absurdity of shy vegetables, and activate the auto-fastener. It slithers down the front of her bodysuit, the material gaping, and she reaches for the neck of my tunic at the same time. My clothes are simpler than hers, with no activated fasteners. Humans get plain, boring cloth and laces to tie things, nothing fancy. But I feel pretty enough in Haina's eyes, and when she indicates I should lift my arms so she can pull my tunic over my head, I do. I remove the cloth breast-band I'm wearing before she can ask, because my cleavage is a lot more bountiful than hers. She doesn't wear anything of the sort, but I like her lean, strong form.
Where Haina's breasts are small and perky, mine are heavy and sway with their weight. Our bodies are very different, but she's touched my breasts before and told me that she likes how responsive I am. I just hope that she likes me as much naked. I steel my courage and brush aside her gaping clothing, exposing her breasts and caressing one.
She touches my cheek again, her gaze on me. "Am I your first mesakkah, Ali?"
I nod. The aliens I had experience with weren't her people. I'm not afraid of her and there are no bad memories when it comes to her kind.
"First female?"
"First in a long time," I offer, caressing her hardened nipple. The tip isn't like mine, but tough and ruched like the ridges that cover her shoulders and portions of her chest. I suspect they're not as sensitive as mine are and I've never asked if she likes breast touches as much as I do, or if she'd just rather I focus on her tail. "I've always liked women, though."
"Do you…want to talk about your past? I know it hasn't been easy." Haina's voice is gentle, her fingers light and caressing as she brushes a lock of hair behind my ear. "Is there anything you feel I should know? Any boundaries you don't want crossed?"
It's an unspoken given that everyone on Risda III has suffered some sort of trauma in their past. The horror of being kidnapped by aliens is bad enough, but so many of us were sold into slavery, and most of the aliens that populate this end of the galaxy are primarily interested in humans as playthings. Some are lucky enough to escape such things.
I wasn't lucky, though.
I shake my head. "I've been here for three years now, and maybe I'll talk about it someday. But not now. It's the past, and I just want to focus on now. With you." And because that sounds firm, I quiver a little bit. "If that's all right."
"Of course it's all right, Ali. I just want things to be comfortable with us." She cups my face in her hands. "If we get off on the wrong foot, it makes our future dates really awkward, and I want there to be more of them."
