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“It’s kind of brilliant,” Dwayne commented. “I agree with Zorro. I don’t like that the man was hitting on you while involved with another. Bad juju. Show him you don’t want him… even if you do.”
I listened.
I took it in.
I promised to think it over and let them know when I decided.
We parted with a few more foul shots at Karma. I didn’t know what on earth I’d do without my friends. Luckily, I’d never have to figure that one out. We were best friends forever.
“Youse got dis, Johnson Jones,” Dracula said, hauling ass to get me to Abra Cadabra Matchmaking Services on time for the noon appointment.
I hadn’t made my decision until the very last minute and now I was probably going to be late.
“Youse just march into dat office, grab your nuts and pick out a man from da pictures,” the vampire advised.
The good news was that both of Dracula’s limbs had partially grown back. He had half of a left arm and most of his right leg. The even better news was that he and Triple D were engaged. His true love had requested a Johnson Jones original to get married in. I agreed instantly. I hadn’t designed a wedding caftan yet and was looking forward to it.
“Literally grab my balls?” I asked with a laugh.
“Yep! Show dat sons of a bitch youse mean business. I grab my nards all de time. Gets me respect and occasionally sore meat clackers. But as my drunk pappy always said, no pain… no gain.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I told the whacky vamp.
“Youse do dat, Johnson,” he replied.
I would not grab my snapper slappers literally, but Dracula had made a fine point yet again. No pain. No gain. If it was a little painful, it would be worth the gain to know I’d grown some self-esteem.
Chapter Ten
I was seriously considering grabbing my balls. At this point I had nothing to lose.
Kurt was wearing the very same outfit that he’d worn on the fateful day we’d met in Whole Foods—jeans and a Dolly Parton t-shirt that hugged him in all the right places. He truly was a work of art. My guess was that it was not an accident.
Of course, I was one to talk. I’d worn the rose caftan. When I’d walked into his office, he couldn’t take his eyes off of me. It was thrilling and depressing at the same time. Both Jeeves and Cha-Cha had loved my creation too, but it was Kurt’s reaction that I’d secretly wanted.
He didn’t disappoint.
“Roses are my favorite,” he said in a husky voice.
“Are they?” I asked in a casual tone.
“They are,” he confirmed, swallowing hard.
We stood in an awkward and sexual-tension-filled standoff. The horrifying desire to throw my morals to the wind and jump his bones was insane. I didn’t. I was better than that.
“So, have you found my perfect man?” I asked, not making eye contact.
“Possibly,” he said hesitantly. “Have a seat, Johnson.”
My name on his lips was delightful. The stack of photos he pushed across the desk wasn’t. I focused on the framed picture of him and his lover to give me the confidence I needed to see the meeting through.
As I began to sort through the photos, I felt Kurt’s gaze on me. This had been a dreadful plan. I needed to get it over with. Blindly pulling a profile out of the stack, I pushed it across the desk to him. “That one will be fine.”
He was perplexed. “Did you even look at it?”
“Nope. Don’t have to. I trust that you didn’t put any convicts in the pile today. Any of them will do.”
Kurt’s brow raised high. “What’s going on here, Johnson?”
