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“I thought it was something you wanted, too. I thought it was a fantasy of yours I could make a reality.”
“That … is not a fantasy of mine. It never will be.”
“Why didn’t you say something earlier? We spoke about this weeks ago.”
“I buried it. I didn’t want to deal with it at the time.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know, okay. I know. I’m sorry. I am … an idiot.”
“Actually, idiot is too tame a word.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“Not at the expense of you. That wouldn’t make me happy. It would make me the opposite.”
“Obvious contradiction. Eight-letters.”
Romeo narrowed his eyes. “Oxymoron. I do the crossword clues, not you.”
Chad smiled, dropping his forehead to Romeo’s chest. He turned his head to listen to his heart beating and twisted his fingers in Romeo’s t-shirt.
“I am happy, Chad. This life is more than a man like me deserves. I love you, and it’s terrifying, going from feeling nothing for anyone toso muchfor you, but what makes it a million times worse is learning that you doubt that love. Not only that, but you think I’d takeyourlove for me and bend it to my will. You think I’d weaponize it against you?”
“Vincent did with Tate.”
“You’re comparing me to Vincent Whitehall?”
“No.” Chad scrunched up his face. “I’m just saying, it’s possible—”
“I’d never push you to do something you didn’t want to.”
“I was scared, Romeo, because I know deep down you could. If you wanted to, you could use how I feel about you against me.”
“I don’twantto, that’s the point. I don’t want to taint our love with anything. It’s the one pure thing I have—it grew despite the monster in my head and I’ll do anything to protect it. You should’ve talked to me.”
“I know.” He pulled Romeo’s t-shirt. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuckingif….”
“I wish I said something sooner.” Chad looked up at him. “Are we good?”
“I thought we were fine,” Romeo snapped.
Chad flinched.
“It’s you that thought things weren’t, but yeah. We’re good. Except this,” he picked at Chad’s jacket. “It has to go.”
“Huh?”
Romeo pushed him away, slipped his hands over Chad’s shoulders, and forced his jacket down his arms.
“It’s Josh’s.”
“I know.”
“I was cold at the hospital.”
