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“That’s part of the story you’re going to have to wait for, Len,” he teases.
Sighing, I nod, leaning against Turner, who hums happily.
“Jordan had some pretty heavy things to tell you, do you remember that?” Derek asks and I nod.
“Uncle Jordan,” I murmur. I gasp. “Oh shit, do Layla and Uncle Jordan know I’m out of Hidden Hills? Do they know anything?”
Turner kisses my forehead, and I just feel so safe, despite everything that happened at that hell hole.
“They knew we were going to get you, Greg has been keeping them up to date. They don’t know anything that you’ve gone through. It’s up to you what you tell them. We only know bits and pieces, because Derek’s been pretending to be on his father’s side,” Turner tells me.
Derek nods. “Your mother is working with my father, and appears to never have ended their relationship, whatever you might call it. She was working with Larsen, the bus driver this entire time, and keeping tabs on us. Carrie tasered me and drugged your gummy bears. Do you remember feeling a little off when you were talking to Jordan and I?”
I think back, remembering how my anxiety was ramped higher than usual, and that I felt really odd.
“Yeah, I do. Fuck, she’s been making me think I was seeing her all of this time? Orion told me nothing was as it seemed in the hospital…” I trail off as I look at the three of them.
Orion told me he wouldn’t take me back, he was telling the truth when he said the guys were here for me.
Wincing, I struggle not to chew on my lips again. I have so much energy and yet I feel weak at the same time.
“I feel like there’s more to Orion now that I’m not freaked out from running through the woods and crashing on adrenaline. I was so scared, and I just wanted—”
“You wanted to get out,” Roark murmurs calmly. “Lenny, you scared the shit out of me when I saw you with that huge knife at your throat. If I hadn’t found you when I did, we could have all lost you.”
Sighing, I shudder as I think about it. “I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I can’t go back. I’m a weapon, and I’d rather die than be used to harm people and be hurt.”
Roark swallows hard, pain shining in his gaze for a moment. Turner wraps his arms around me, and Derek’s eyes go dark and cold.
“You’re never going to go back. Orion and I will burn the world down, and kill everyone who’s ever thought about hurting you,” he growls. “Xav, Carrie, and my father can’t walk away from this. Not after everything that’s happened to you.”
The tears start to well again, shame sharp and hot as it crawls up my neck. “How much do you know, and what does Orion have to do with this?” I ask, my voice filled with conflicting emotions.
Derek’s eye twitches and it may as well have been a flinch. I can see him burying emotion, and it occurs to me that if he was working with his father that he’d have to. Grant Williams enjoys using emotional warfare. It’s how he got his son to go home in the first place.
“I was in the hospital the day you were sold,” Derek says, his voice dead as he remembers, eyes averted.
“Derek,” I bark at him, waiting until he looks at me. “I don’t understand everything that’s going on, but you do not get to use that voice with me. It’s the ‘I’m going to hide because you don’t deserve my emotions’ voice,” I explain, my hand lifting in anger and waving before Turner grabs it and squeezes it gently.
I think he’s worried I’m going to pull a wire too hard. Waving my hands is probably not a good idea right now.
Derek’s eyes widen as he realizes what he’s doing. He cracks his neck, taking a breath, and it’s like he’s unboxing his emotions. It’s done so flawlessly it takes my breath away.
“Wow, there you are,” I whisper.
Derek sighs. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been compartmentalizing for so long, I forgot I didn’t need to. Forgive me?”
I sigh with a small smile. “For this? Always, love.”
His eyes soften, staring at me. “I really like love,” he murmurs, almost like it’s a secret, and my lips stretch into one of the first smiles I’ve had in a long time.
Derek leans forward and kisses my forehead. “I didn’t mean to derail the conversation,” he sighs. “Want to keep going?”
I nod and he leans back, thinking.
“The day I went to see my mom, and after I was snooping in my father’s office, I stepped into the hallway and saw you,” he remembers, eyes slightly unfocused as he thinks. “I stood there and stared. I could tell something terrible had happened, and a nurse pulled you away as you stared at me. Did you know who I was when you saw me?”
I shake my head, remembering how out of it I was. “You were too far for me to realize it was you. I was reeling after waking up in that room. Nurse Ratched, ugh, Elaine, forced me to take a drug that made me feel overheated and sensitive.” I swallow as my eyes take them all in. “I didn’t fight,” I rasp. “I… my brain told me it was wrong, but my body wouldn’t do what I wanted it to.”
