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My breath rattles in my chest as I shake. As easily as I cried earlier, the tears won’t come. I wrap my arms around myself, but this time Turner’s arms are around me too.
“Not your fault, Lavender,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion, and I can feel wetness on my shoulder. “Please, believe me, the drug was in charge, and you weren’t in control.”
I nod, even as my breath hitches.
“Len,” Derek says, sitting beside me, despite there not being much room. “As you walked away, my father told me you’d been sold because they needed money for the campaign. I know you didn’t choose to have sex with them, your body is a patchwork of nonconsent. Roark, Turner, and I all know, okay?”
The air won’t come and I look beseechingly at him. I don’t know how he can help. Yet even as the black spots crawl into my eyesight, and the alarms blare, my eyes stay trained on his.
His huge hands cup my face and he whispers. “You’re safe, and you’re so damn loved. We’ll find you closure… you can even help pull apart their bodies as they scream.”
I don’t know why, but what he says makes me gasp out a strangled laugh.
“That’s our girl, breathe with me,” Derek says, taking another breath so I will.
We breathe together, even as the nurses rush in. Roark raises his hand to stop them, shaking his head. “Oye, she’s fine. We’ve got it handled, thank you. Just listen, the fooking beeping is calming down already.”
He’s right, they’re no longer screaming as my blood pressure steadies as well.
The nurses leave with reminders to call if we need help, and I’m trembling from exertion.
You’d think I had ran miles with how much my muscles hurt from tensing.
“I think that’s enough chatter for now,” Turner tells me, kissing my neck. “Let’s nap so we can be the perfect patients, yeah? And then we can get the fuck out of here.”
I’m amused he’s including himself as a patient, even though I know he can walk out at any time. He’s in perfect health.
“I can hear the wheels turning in your brain, Lavender. Where you go, we go. While you nap, I’ll see if we can arrange for someone to check in on you at the safe house,” Turner tells me, grabbing his phone.
My jaw cracks as I yawn widely. “I thought you may be stuck like glue to me,” I tell him as I snuggle against him.
Derek stands up and then frowns as he looks at me. “Are you sure you’re not hungry?” he asks worriedly.
I shake my head. “I’m not right now. The hospital was barely feeding me, honestly. Whatever I did get, usually didn’t survive Xav’s sessions. I’ll eat something when I wake up,” I say hurriedly, closing my eyes.
I don’t want to talk about Xav right now. The guys don’t call me out as I change the subject, either, and I’m grateful for it. I just need a little space.
There’s been a lot of truth already spilled today, and I need a break. I’ll be stronger tomorrow.
It has to be better then, right?
4
DEREK
Iknow she’s deflecting, but I can tell she needs a break. I wear my mask like a second skin now, so much that I don’t always recognize it. I’m so glad Lennon did, and forced me to step away from it. I feel emotions, I recognize them, which is different from Orion who is distanced from sentiment. Even then, they’re starting to rise up inside of him, and I know we’ll have to deal with the fall out soon.
Watching as Lennon’s chest rises and falls, I see the sun is rising.
“We should all get some sleep,” Roark rumbles, scooting down in his chair.
I groan, nodding. “I want to track down a doctor and see if she can leave today. I know they said she was dehydrated and malnourished, but they were also monitoring her blood pressure. A hospital isn’t going to help her anxiety,” I tell them truthfully.
Turner nods, moving the bed so it reclines slightly. “Yeah, I can’t blame her in the least. She reacts badly to Orion’s name, and that worries me,” he sighs. “How can we explain to her that he was working to get her out?”
Roark grunts. “He played a part in her torture,” he says. “I know Orion had to play along, but I hate that he suffocated her for hours. I’m having a hard time believing he’s not all that bad.”
I fist my hands as I listen to him. I know what he’s saying, I understand, but the lines blur when you’re pretending to work for the other team.
