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“Holy fuck!”I yelped, jumping backward and wiping cobwebs from my face. Spider webs gave me the creeps and there were plenty of them under the shack where I stored extra plywood. I felt a tickle on my ear lobe and freaked the fuck out, jumping around and slapping at my ear.“Get off!” I shrieked in a pitch higher than I would’ve wanted anyone to witness. I removed my tank top and swatted over my shoulder to knock the vermin off my back, and then frantically rubbed the fabric over my head and face. “Jesus, you’re such a pussy,” I mumbled, checking my exposed arms for creepy bugs.
The radio was playing from the front deck as I dragged plywood to four sides of the shack where windows and doors were located. Most stations were warning of the impending storm, frightening the locals as usual. I’d been through this drill a few times and depending on the size of storm predicted, you prepared ahead of time. Sometimes you needed the plywood hammered over your windows, and sometimes you didn’t. Like the saying went, better to have and not need than need and not have. I leaned a sheet of wood against my home at every entry point, and dug through the metal box where I kept nails. It was a laborious task that had to be done.
For the rest of the afternoon, the local news continued to focus on the storm building off the coast of Florida and the potential for strong winds making their way to the lowlands and maybe as far northeast as Charleston. I was more than happy to be over-prepared by boarding up most of the shack and protecting what little I had. The task took most of my Saturday and I was cool with the extra work because it gave me something to do on my three day weekend.
There may have been a storm coming but the skies were still as blue as a robin’s egg. After attaching the safety barrier of plywood to my fish shack, I was drenched in sweat so I dove into the river from the dock to cool off. I kept a bar of soap there as well and decided to take a river bath. Slipping out of my boxers and laying them on the dock, I lathered up while sitting on its edge. There was a small boat a mile or so away but I knew they couldn’t see my naked body from that distance unless they had binoculars. And if they had a pair, then they deserved the free show.
Sudsing my dick and balls with soap caused me to get hard and if it hadn’t been broad daylight I would’ve rubbed one out. I hadn’t had sex with anyone butRosie Palm and her five sistersor my hand, since Jamie two years ago. The two of us enjoyed touching and sucking each other off when we were out here and it was one of many reasons I missed him so much.
“I’ll admit I sure do miss the blow jobs, Jamie,” I mumbled. “And someone to shoot the shit with,” I added, looking around at shadows, wishing for company.
Spending long stretches of time alone has become the norm for me. There were many times that the silence seemed to stretch on and on until being alone felt unbearable. At least when Memaw was alive I had someone close to talk to, but with Jamie leaving for college two years ago, and then Memaw passing last year, I was lonelier than at any point. Most of the days were spent checking traps to make a living or doing repairs on my home. Sure, I had a few friends in town but when you choose to live on a river quite a distance from civilization, with no roads to get there, you need to be okay with being alone.
The more time that passed after Jamie left me, I realized he had served two important purposes for me. It wasn’t just losing the person I loved and was attracted to, but I also lost my best friend. A lifelong friend who’d been there through all the rough shit and all the good stuff too. He’d been my everything and it was a punch to the gut when he left. Perhaps I’d been wrong about how he thought of our relationship. Was it only me who saw us as a couple and more than friends? He’d never said out loud that he loved me, so when he’d made the choice to leave alone, perhaps it hadn’t been as tough on him as it had been on me. I knew one thing though. I wanted what we’d had again, just not with him. But even with the heartbreak I’d experienced, I craved the good parts before the pain and sent silent prayers to Memaw’s God to help me find it.
It was dark in the shack when I came in to make a tuna sandwich. The plywood sheets covered the windows and the back door in a blanket of safety. I’d have to secure the front door from within if the storm developed, but currently it looked beautiful outside and I crossed my fingers it’d stay that way. Glancing in the fridge for a cool drink I noticed there was only one Mellow Yellow left. There wasn’t a shot in hell I could make it through a long weekend without a resupply, so I decided to motor into town.
Even though Marcus had invited me to stop by for a free dinner, I decided not to swing by the restaurant which scratched one thing from my list of possible ways to pass time. A visit would be hard when I knew Jamie would be working alongside his boss, so best to leave him alone. But I could use up most of the afternoon by stopping by Lucas’s station and filling a few more gas cans in case I needed fuel for the generator after a possible storm. He was closed on Monday except for the towing side of his business and I wanted to be extra secure back at the shack.
* * *
“Can you believe the fucking price of plywood?” Lucas bitched. “Fifty bucks a sheet is highway robbery, Bo.”
I leveled off the third gas can and loaded it into the bed of my small truck. It’d been a busy day and sucked that I had to walk to Lucas’ place where I’d grab the truck and then have to go back to the dock, only to repeat the trip after loading the boat.
“I save mine year after year,” I said. “I collected most of it for free after the last big one.”
“Still cheap as fuck I see,” Lucas stated.
“I didn’t marry a millionaire, dude, so cut me some slack.”
He raised an eyebrow as if to say,you got me there. “You need your Mellow Yellow? I have two cases inside,” he said.
“At your prices? No, thanks.” Lucas made an ugly face at me and handed me the receipt. “I’m heading to Piggly Wiggly next to stock up on food so I’ll be grabbing my sodas there.”
“Like I said, cheap as fuck, dude,” he muttered. “But hey, I wouldn’t worry about the storm. I’m hearing it ain’t gonna hit us here.”
We bumped knuckles and I headed for the driver’s side door. “We’ll see. Are you and Perry boarding up your place over at your beach?” I gestured southwest to where they’d built an amazing house right on the ocean.
“Someone is,” he stated. “You know how Perry is with his money. If shit can be bought or done by someone other than him, he whips out the black Amex.”
We laughed at his factual statement. “Stay safe, buddy. Say hi to your better half.”
I climbed into my truck and started the engine. I felt my eyes welling all of a sudden, followed by overwhelming sadness speeding through me like a Porsche on the Autobahn. I was happy for Lucas and Perry, but witnessing their love still hurt. I wanted what Lucas had and no matter how hard I fought to find strength, I was jealous.
Apparently, I’d spent too much time wallowing in pity and staring through the windshield when a knock on my window startled me. I rolled the window down and wiped at my eyes.
“You okay, Bo?” Lucas asked, touching my shoulder.
I didn’t answer him out of fear of bawling like a child.
“You went to Crab King and saw him, didn’t you?”
“Yes. That and worse,” I mumbled, fighting the tears. “He came out to the shack to see me.”
“So?” he asked.
I couldn’t speak but shook my head instead.
