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“You’re important to me,” he said. “I’m sorry for what you’ve been through with Phillip, but I love you, Hayes, so I’m going to have to be selfish here.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I want you to choose me and build that life you desire with me.”
“I want that too, so what do we do first?”
“I think you call your mom first.”
Of course, he was right, but I wasn’t ready to do that. “I’m not ready, Bo,” I declared. “I need time with this and want to be careful to do what I want for a change.”
“They probably think you’re dead, baby. Are you sure?”
I hadn’t thought about that fact because I was being selfish. Why wouldn’t they? I’d bailed off of a yacht and disappeared in a tropical storm. Of course they thought I was dead after a month. “Am I an awful person if I take two or three more days?”
“I’ll support your decision but you should think about them too, baby.”
Bo may be young but he was wise. I knew he was right but I didn’t want that life anymore and knew my parents would always see me as the Hayes they wanted me to be, not the man who desired true love over the possessions I’d been surrounded with. I was also afraid of how that world would change Bo’s perception of me.
As if he read my mind he said, “I’m sorry about your struggles and do not want to make light of them, baby, but I guess I was right about you having money,” he teased, doing his best to lighten the difficult choices I was facing.
I knew he was joking but I was concerned. I did come from money. A lot of money.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: Bo
Idisagreed with the decision Hayes made concerning his parents, but also wanted to be understanding about his reasoning to not to contact them. He’d been through a traumatic experience that I didn’t completely understand, so if he felt he needed the extra time, I wanted to support his decision.
At first I worried he would pull away from me once remembering his past. Truthfully, I wondered coming from wealth would alter how he felt about me and the impoverished life I led. But he’d been the opposite of that since he regained his memory. He wanted me close all the time, fussed about whether he’d shared enough about his life before meeting me, and reassured me nonstop that I was who he wanted to be with. I wasn’t too proud to admit that I needed to hear his affirmations.
I believed him when he stated that his relationship with Phillip was over. He had no reason to lie and after considering the man I’d gotten to know the past month, I could see who he was as a person. His actions toward me spoke volumes and supported his desires to be in an honest and loving partnership.
Hayes admitted he lived a fancy life in Charleston and that he enjoyed the trappings even if he felt alone most of the time. He wasn’t proud he chose to stay in a relationship that was built on a lie for so long. He stated that his time with me had helped him rediscover the ideals he used to believe in. He was hopeful once again and believed in the possibility of having a real, in-the-open, and loving partnership. He’d even stated that he was happy he’d found a man who saw him for him and not for the life of privilege he’d lived so far. But was I worry free? Not exactly.
“Can I ask you a question without seeming rude?” I asked. We were sitting on the dock, dangling our feet in the water while we watched two fishing poles I’d casted for us. He motioned for me to proceed, but I paused, wondering whether to continue or not while he waited for the question. “Forget it,” I added, absentmindedly rubbing my knee.
Hayes reached for the hand I was nervously clenching. “You’re wondering about the money, aren’t you?” he asked.
“Rude, right? I’m just feeling self-conscious about all this,” I said, gesturing to the fishing shack. “For Christ’s sake, there used to be a fucking outhouse over there, Hayes,” I added.
“Yeah, I saw that,” he began, laying his hand over my heart. “I’m interested in this though, baby.”
“Aren’t you embarrassed of me now that you remember you’re from a wealthy family?”
He tilted his head and frowned at me. “You don’t really believe I’d feel that way, do you?”
“I don’t know, baby. But I couldn’t be farther away from your lifestyle if I lived on the moon,” I admitted. “I guess I worry you’ll want more than what I see for my life.”
Hayes pulled his feet out of the water and faced me. “So tell me then. What do you see for yourself, Mr. Dawson?”
I swatted at him. “I’m serious, baby. I’m afraid I’m not enough.”
“You ever think that maybe you won’t like how I fit into your life?” he asked. “Trust me when I tell you that money can be a bad companion to love. People get clouded by money and what they think it can do for them, forgetting about what is real and right in front of them.” He glanced at the river, gathering his thoughts before looking at me. “Being second to money is not a pleasant feeling.”
“I suppose,” I mumbled, staring at my lap and wishing I’d kept quiet about my insecurities.
“Don’t ignore my question, baby,” he admonished. “Please tell me what you see for your future. What is it that you want?”
I looked at him and grinned sheepishly. “You,” I admitted, smiling mischievously. I pursed my lips and thought about what else I wanted for my life. “First off, I’d like to be with you, doing something like this. Maybe have my own fishing boat and make a real go of things like daddy and pop-pop had always wanted.”
