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She took a deep, shaky breath. ‘She’s never been very good at fighting back.’
There were a few seconds of silence, and then Gabriel said quietly, ‘You don’t need to be a fighter to have strength. But whatever happens, we’ll face it together.’ His fingers tightened around hers. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
Her heart felt as if it was being squeezed in a vice. It was the kind of thing people said in dramas on TV. It didn’t mean anything. She tried not to think about how much she wanted it to mean something.
But there was no time to think about that anymore. They had arrived.
In the car, some of her panic had subsided. But now, breathing in the hospital smell of cleaning fluid and vending machine coffee, she felt it return. There were people everywhere. Sitting, shuffling, rushing... But somehow Gabriel seemed to know exactly which way to go, and she let him lead her through the corridors until finally they reached a pair of swing doors.
‘Your mother’s in there.’ He gestured towards the doors. ‘She’s probably not had anything to eat or drink, so I’ll go and see if I can find something.’
‘Aren’t you coming in with me?’ She felt a rush of panic, although she wasn’t sure if it was the thought of him leaving or the fact that the need in her was so close to the surface.
‘Your mum will want to talk to you.’ He put his arms around her, gathering her against him, and then gently pushed her away. ‘I’ll wait out here for you.’
His eyes were so very blue, like the sky above the island and the sea where the dolphins had ridden through the waves, and she felt a pang almost like homesickness as she pushed through the doors and walked into a waiting area.
‘Dove!’
‘Mum!’
‘Oh, darling...’
Dove felt her face crumple as her mother stepped towards her and they hugged one another tightly. Olivia looked tired and pale, but she was still recognisably her mum.
‘Have you seen him? Is he okay?’ she asked.
Olivia nodded. ‘They let me sit with him for about ten minutes. He’s very weak, but he knew who I was, and he sent his love to you. He doesn’t want you to worry.’
That was typical of Alistair. Even when he was lying in a hospital bed he was worrying about other people.
‘Was it a stroke?’
Olivia shook her head. ‘I thought it was, but it’s something called sepsis.’
Dove felt her heartbeat punch upwards into her throat. ‘What is that?’
For a moment her mother’s face seemed to break up, but then she rallied. Shewasstrong, Dove thought, just like Gabriel had said.
‘I’m not really sure. They did try and explain, but I just couldn’t take it in. I think it’s when the body overreacts to an infection. Sit down, darling...’ She guided Dove onto a chair.
‘What kind of infection?’ Dove asked as she sat down.
Olivia reached out and took her hands. ‘Apparently he cut his foot the other week, when he was out in the garden, and it must have got infected. The nurse said that anyone can get sepsis, but apparently if you’re diabetic you have trouble fighting it.’
‘Is it dangerous?’
Olivia hesitated, then nodded. ‘It can be. But he’s responding to the antibiotics, and they’ve given him some other drugs, but I can’t remember their names.’
Dove glanced across the waiting room. A nurse at the desk was talking to one of the porters. On the wall above their heads a clock was loudly ticking, marking the minutes. Nobody was wailing, and everything felt reassuringly calm, so she was able to say quite normally, ‘He’s going to get through this.’
‘Yes, he is.’ Her mother frowned and swallowed hard. ‘He has to.’
Dove stared at her mother’s bowed head. She looked as if she was praying. Or asking for forgiveness. And then, from nowhere, she remembered what Olivia had said earlier on the phone, about not being able to wake Alistair up.
Only why would her mother be waking him up?
Across the room the nurse was still talking, and the clock was still ticking, but inside her everything was still and silent, as if her heart had forgotten how to beat.
