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I squeezed my eyes shut. “I don’t need the visual.”
“You’re impossible,” Elle said, but her voice was filled with affection.
“It’s not just the kid. He’s my boss. This is my first real job.”
“I get that you want to prove yourself and make a great impression, but is this what you want to do for the rest of your life?”
I dropped my head into my hands. “I have no idea.”
“I don’t think you want to be a nanny. You like kids, but you could teach or sell your art. There are so many things you could do. I wouldn’t write off Sam because he’s your boss.”
If I lost my job, I’d have to move back in with Elle. Not that she wouldn’t be okay with that, butIwasn’t anymore. I wanted to be on my own. I didn’t want to depend on anyone.
“Sleeping with my boss sounds irresponsible.”
“You just let me know when you’re done talking about”—Gray waved a hand—“this.”
Elle grinned. “You’re brave for returning after the last time.”
Gray just shook his head and left the room again.
“Can you let it go? Sam hasn’t even made a move. There’s no reason to think he’s interested.” Even if it was all I thought about when I went to sleep at night. I replayed the interactions with his daughter, feeling warm inside. Even if he was great with his daughter, it didn’t mean I was attracted to him.
“I just want you to keep an open mind.”
“You worry about me. But you don’t need to anymore. I’ll figure things out. I have time.” To know what I wanted to do with my life. To know who I wanted to spend it with. And maybe Elle was right. I could have a fling with Sam. It didn’t have to ruin everything. As much as I enjoyed children, maybe teaching kids was more my style than nannying. Would I want to live in someone else’s house after living with Sam? Did I want to take care of someone else’s child besides Amelia or Maggie?
The idea of being a nanny for other families didn’t hold the same appeal. I’d bonded with both girls. But they were special. I might not enjoy my next job. The kids might not be as well behaved. I’d probably gotten lucky with Maggie.
I didn’t have to figure out my life right now. I was looking forward to showing Maggie how to create the mosaics and filming again, now that Sam had given me the okay.
“Do you mind if I take the small kiln?” Hopefully, Sam would be okay with me putting it in his garage. I purchased most of the shapes I used, but sometimes I liked to create my own. It cut down on costs, and I enjoyed the process.
“Sam’s okay with you keeping it in his garage?”
“I think he’ll be okay with it.” We didn’t discuss the kiln specifically. I hadn’t even thought of it until I was here. Remembering his reaction when he discovered my secret, I didn’t think he’d mind.
“Gray can take it to your car.”
“I appreciate it.”
Elle’s lips pursed. “With you taking the kiln, it feels like you’ve officially moved out.”
“I could still move back.”
“And I wouldn’t mind. We miss you. Amelia misses you. And it’s not about you helping around the house or watching Amelia for us. We enjoy your company.”
I shifted uncomfortably in the chair. Believing that someone wanted me around for me was still a little hard to believe. After chasing the illusion of fame for years, I wanted to be worthy. Not take from other people.
“I know that’s hard for you to hear.”
Sam seemed to enjoy having me around, so it wasn’t as hard to believe as it used to be. “It’s getting easier.”
“Good. We aren’t defined by our pasts. Our childhoods were stolen from us, but we can reclaim our lives. We get to plan our futures.”
“That sounds good.”
After our talk, I helped Elle prepare dinner, and we sat together to enjoy it. I wasn’t here out of a sense of obligation or guilt or a wayward need to help. I was spending time with my family. They enjoyed my company, and I enjoyed theirs.
