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I couldn’t argue with that, so I settled into him, my head resting on his chest. His fingers played in my hair. We didn’t speak, but the air between us was ripe with questions and emotions. What would happen when Felicia visited? Would it create a canyon between us that couldn’t be crossed?
I didn’t want that, but I was all too familiar with disconnecting from people. I squeezed my eyes shut against the idea. Nothing ever lasted. People drifted away.
I couldn’t trust the emotions bubbling up in me because there was more at stake. There was Maggie, Felicia, and of course, Sam. He said he was falling in love with me, but Maggie’s needs understandably came first.
If her mother didn’t want me here, Sam wouldn’t want to lose Maggie. Where would that leave me?
I wasn’t sure how much power she yielded over Sam and Maggie, and my stomach knotted, knowing I was about to find out.
When Sam’s breathing deepened, I slipped out from under his arm, quietly putting my clothes on and slipping out. I tiptoed down the hallway, careful to avoid the squeaky boards. I didn’t relax until I was in my own bed, staring at the ceiling. I knew I wouldn’t get much sleep tonight.
The news that Felicia’s visit was imminent weighed heavily on my chest. The unknowns threatened to burrow a hole in my stomach.
I finally closed my eyes, thinking about what I needed to do for the upcoming workshop. I needed to focus on what I could control.
I needed to trust in my feelings with Sam and have faith that he’d protect our connection.
CHAPTER22
SAM
The weeks leading up to Felicia’s visit were busy. Mac was motivated to finish the owner’s suite at the B&B so Natalie had a place to live and could move in relatively quickly. I was working long hours with the new deadline and then came home to Maggie and Alice.
As soon as I arrived, Alice disappeared to plan the workshops. It was probably more than she needed to do, but I understood overpreparing, wanting to make sure everything was perfect. Ever since Alice walked in on my conversation with Mac about Felicia, things felt different. Like there was this insurmountable space between us.
At the same time, I wondered if I was imagining that distance because after Maggie was asleep, Alice slipped into my room. I lived for the moments our mouths crashed together, the clothes came off, and we were skin to skin. In my bedroom, nothing could touch us. It was just Alice and me, and our love bubbling closer and closer to the surface.
I’d told her I was falling in love with her, but I was sure I was already there. There was this emotion filling my chest, threatening to spill over. But it wasn’t the right time to talk to her about it, not with Felicia’s visit looming over us.
We needed to get through it, and then everything would settle down.
The day Felicia was supposed to arrive, Alice packed her things to stay with Elle. I hated it, but I understood it would be awkward to stay here. I didn’t want things to be tense for Maggie, either.
I wondered if I should have suggested Felicia take Maggie to her hotel room or to a park. But I hadn’t planned, so we were stuck with what we’d always done, even if things were different now.
I hoped I wasn’t screwing everything up.
When I arrived home that night, I was surprised to see Felicia’s rental in the driveway. She wasn’t supposed to arrive until later.
This wouldn’t be good. With a sinking feeling, I opened the door. Alice’s overnight bag was near the door with a few boxes. Probably supplies for her workshop. It was this weekend, and I wasn’t sure I could get away to support her, even though I wanted to.
“Daddy!” Maggie ran to greet me like she always did. This time, I held her tighter, knowing that I might not always be able to come home to her. Felicia could move here or ask for more visitation. I needed to savor these moments.
“Oh good. You’re home,” Alice greeted us in the hall.
Her shoulders were stiff as Felicia joined us in the small space.
Alice moved to shoulder her bag. “I’m having dinner at my sister’s.”
I nodded, my throat tight, even though we’d already discussed this. It would be better if Maggie had time to bond with her mother. The longer there was between visits, the harder it was for her to adjust to Felicia being here. If Alice was here too, it would make it even more difficult.
Alice leaned close, kissing Maggie’s cheek. I wished she’d kiss me as well, but it wasn’t the time or place, not with Felicia watching us.
“Be good for Daddy, okay?” Alice asked Maggie as she stepped away.
“I’ll help you with the boxes.”
Felicia pursed her lips, but she didn’t say anything. I wanted a moment alone with Alice. I wanted to reassure her everything would be okay, even if I didn’t believe it.
