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I cleared my throat because I hadn’t been listening. “About what?”
“We need to tell my parents and my grandmother that we were dating.”
Every time he said the worddating, a little thrill shot through me. It was like getting that thing you’d always wanted, but it was still out of reach. The cold reality was that he wasn’t mine, and he never would be.
I was understandably wary about dating anyone seriously. I had trust issues. Harrison was a safe bet to crush on. He’d never make a move, and neither would I, so we were safely stuck in this friend limbo.
I hated the idea of lying to his grandmother, but she was the one we needed to convince. She had an active social life and friends whom she liked to talk to. If we could convince her, she would spread the word around town, and everyone would believe her. “Let’s do it.”
Harrison’s head tipped to the side. “How about this weekend?
My heart rate picked up. I felt like I was on a runaway train. I couldn’t do anything to slow it down, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to. “That soon?”
Harrison nodded. “The attorney said that we need to establish that we’re currently in a relationship, that it’s not something new.”
“If that’s what he thinks is best.” When I agreed to his plan, I was hoping there’d be a few weeks to get used to the idea of being engaged to my best friend. Instead, I was being thrown in headfirst without any flotation device.
He paid the check, his head bent over the receipt as he calculated the tip and signed his name with a flourish. My heart ached because I was finally going to be acting the part that I had secretly longed for my entire life.
I’d always wanted Harrison to look at me as more than a friend, but he never had. He had never made any indication that he was attracted to me. I was by his side, willing to help with Wren. I listened when he needed to complain about whatever parenting thing Lola was doing that he didn’t agree with, or that she’d canceled on his visitation plans again. I was the one he called when he needed someone to talk to. In some ways, I think he took me for granted. And here I was, playing into it again. He needed someone to be his fake fiancée, and I was stepping up to the plate.
I should have tried to move on with someone else, or at least explored the possibility of a serious relationship with someone that could turn into something more. Instead, I was tying myself to the one person who’d never give me what I wanted, and certainly not what I needed.
Harrison was safe. With him, I didn’t have to date someone else. I didn’t have to go out of my comfort zone. I could like him from afar, and nothing would ever happen between us. I couldn’t get hurt, and he’d never walk out on me. It was a win-win.
“Are you having regrets?”
My gaze met Harrison’s concerned one. “Of course not.”
Harrison considered me for a few seconds before he nodded. “When do you want to move in?”
“When do you think would be good?” I sipped the lukewarm water, choking a little when it went down too fast.
I consoled myself by saying to myself that the reality of Harrison as my boyfriend wouldn’t be as good as what I’d imagined in my head. I was certain he had flaws, and living with him, I’d discover them all.
Maybe moving in with him would be a good thing. I’d learn all the reasons why we couldn’t work.
“We should do it right away. That way we can tell my family we’re already living together. It will make it seem more serious.”
I set the glass down, my brain working a little more efficiently now that he was asking me to pack my things and move in with him and Wren so soon. “You want me to move in before this weekend?”
Harrison’s brow furrowed. “That makes the most sense, doesn’t it?”
This was moving too fast, but I’d already said yes. “Of course.”
“You should move in with me. I have a single-family house and Wren to worry about.”
I rented a small apartment, struggling to make any sort of commitment other than the job I held. “You wouldn’t want to make any unnecessary changes for her.”
He nodded, looking out the window as if he was thinking of the million things that needed to be done.
“Do you think she’ll be okay with this?”
Harrison looked back at me. “You’re always around. She loves you. I think she secretly hopes we’d get together eventually.”
The wordsbut what if it doesn’t work outlingered just out of reach. I couldn’t voice them. I wanted this too badly. Even if we all got hurt in the process. Instead, I said, “Just like your grandmother.”
“They’re both romantics.” Harrison smiled affectionately.
