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Ifucked up royally. I knew it before Everly walked out, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself from spewing angry words. I’d pushed Everly away because I felt like I was going to come out of my skin. I needed space to breathe. And I said the most hurtful thing I could think of to get it. Her father didn’t want her.
Every time I remembered, I was horrified all over again. I needed to make it right, but at the same time, I wouldn’t be able to relax until I confirmed Wren was okay.
Jackson told me to sit tight until Monday. If Lola didn’t return her, he’d file an emergency motion for custody first thing in the morning.
What if Lola took Wren and moved her out of state, or even out of the country? I’d heard horror stories about that very thing in the news. In a state of panic, it seemed like anything was possible. I was spiraling into negative territory, and it was all my fault because I’d pushed away the one person who’d always had my back.
Wren was aware that she was supposed to be with me, and she was a rule follower. She probably felt torn between her mother and me. Was she upset with me? What was her mother telling her? Was she worried she’d get in trouble? The worst part was, I couldn’t reassure her.
She didn’t even have a phone. What if she needed me? The anxiety and the unknown were crushing.
I barely slept or ate anything. My parents showed up Sunday afternoon and cooked me dinner, forcing me to eat a few bites.
The only thing that helped with the excess energy was pacing. I was afraid to leave the house to go for a run just in case Wren called or Lola showed up with her. I’d left one voice mail and sent a strongly worded text, per Jackson’s advice. But otherwise, he told me not to talk to her.
The communication was solely between the attorneys, but Lola wasn’t speaking to hers.
Lola thought she was in control of this situation as the mother and because I’d never challenged her before. She could do anything she wanted and get away with it. That no judge would ever take Wren from her. But I wasn’t so sure. The way Jackson described it to me, she was thwarting a court order, and judges didn’t look kindly on that. I was grateful that Jackson insisted we submit our agreement as an order to the court to sign when we drafted it. Lola must not have understood what that meant.
We had one other option that Jackson said not to pursue because we didn’t want to scare Wren. But we could have gone to the police with the order and forced her to hand over Wren. I didn’t want to do that either. I just wanted Lola to do what she was supposed to.
“Are you going to tell us where Everly is?” Mom asked as she was cleaning up dinner.
I ran a hand through my hair, the pain spearing my heart all over again. “I screwed up.”
“What are you talking about?” Mom asked, whirling on me from her task of washing pots and pans.
“I needed space. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know what to do about Wren.”
“So, you took it out on Everly, the woman who’s supported you from the beginning?” Mom asked, her tone incredulous.
“You know it’s not like that.” My protest sounded weak.
“What did you say to her?” Mom asked.
I let my head fall back and closed my eyes against the memory of the pain on her face when I’d inflicted the most hurtful words imaginable. “I don’t want to repeat it. I’d be okay if I never hear those words again.”
“Harrison Cain, what did you tell Everly to make her leave?”
It was never good when my mom first- and last-named me. “I told her”—I drew in an unsteady breath and let it out—“her father didn’t want her, so she wasn’t any help in this situation.”
Dad sucked in a sharp breath. “Jesus. What were you thinking?”
“He knew exactly what to say to inflict the most pain. Isn’t that what we do to the ones we love the most? We push them away,” Mom told Dad.
I let my head drop into my hands. My head throbbed with a constant tension headache since I’d learned that Lola had picked Wren up from school early on Friday. I didn’t argue with Mom because it was the truth. I’d hurt Everly intentionally to push her away. I hoped she could forgive me. But I wasn’t so sure she could.
“You need her,” Mom finally said softly.
I lifted my head to meet her concerned gaze. “Maybe in that moment, I didn’t want her to see the mess my life was. I wanted to handle it myself.”
“Son, there’s no shame in leaning on someone else.”
“This entire time—” Should I tell them the truth? That none of it was real? That we concocted this plan to get Wren? “None of it was—”
“What are you trying to say?” Mom asked, leaning closer.
“Jackson thought it would be better if I was dating someone—” I let my words hang in the air between us.
