AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I wasn’t excited, though.
I was weirded the fuck out.
Visions of horrible worst-case scenarios danced around in my mind.
Me getting accidentally dick-slapped in the face by Magic Mark’s schlong.
Cassie flipping out when Emma Bone shoved her boobs and beav too close to my head.
It really, truly felt like nothing good could come out of this scene, but I was locked in whether I liked it or not.
Eventually, Ginuwine’s voice joined the catchy rhythm, and he started singing about being a bachelor and looking for someone who knew how toride.
It wasn’t a surprise that was Magic Mark’s cue.
The male stripper strode out in front of us, smoke and flashing lights providing the ambiance, and the serious but sexy expression on his face made it known he was about to run the fucking room.
And the only person he was focused on was my wife.
Son of a bitch.
Cassie started to dance in her chair, and I had to force myself to just sit there while some greased-up dude dressed as a construction worker ripped off his jeans and T-shirt and started shaking his red-Speedo-thong-covered floppy dick all over the goddamn place.
If this isn’t hell, I don’t want to know what hell really is.
When I was just a strapping young dude and looking ahead to the future, I sometimes pictured what my bachelor party would look like—close friends, lots of bars, strip clubs.
Basically, I envisioned an entire night of debauchery, with booze, tits, and ass galore.
What I didn’t foresee, though, was some stripper named Magic Mark letting his half-hard wiener invade my wife’s personal space.
I clenched my jaw and forced myself to stay in my seat. This was what my wife wanted. This was what she planned. And I’d obviously do anything to make her fucking happy.
Fuck.This is literally a nightmare. An actual fluffing, real-life nightmare.
When Magic Mark started to shake his ass a little too close to Cass’s face for my comfort, I was about two seconds away from standing up and throwing him the fuck out of our suite, but that was when Miss Emma Bone decided to make her big debut.
Instantly, the music switched from R&B to rock, and before I knew it, Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” blared from whatever speaker-situation these strippers had set up in our en suite.
Magic Mark started to headbang in front of Cass, and Emma Bone, dressed up like some kind of sleazy librarian, came strutting out on a tall pair of clear stilettos.
And she stalked right the fucktoward me.
Most men would’ve thought this was awesome, but I was terrified.
My beautiful, pregnant wife was sitting right beside me, and I had absolutely zero desire to watch Emma Bone show off her best moves.
If a Chipotle mistake could spur a holy rage of murderous proportions, I didn’t want to know what another woman’s actual titties in my face might do. No. Nope. I did not want any part of it.
I wanted to grab Cassie’s hand and run as fast out of our damn hotel room as I possibly could. And I didn’t care where we ended up. Magic Mark and Emma Bone could fluffing reenactYou Got Servedand have a fucking stripper dance-off in our suite for all I cared; I just didn’t want Cass or me to be there for it.
Miss Bone, though, well, she was either completely apathetic or unaware of my terror, and she placed both of her hands on my shoulders, shimmying her pastie-covered breasts near my face.
Discreetly, I turned my head to the side, but when I did that, I spotted Magic Mark thrusting his hips toward Cass, and his floppy dick was doing some sort of break-dancing move in mid-air.
Fuck.I was wrong. This wasn’t hell. This wasworsethan hell.
Satan wouldn’t even subject his biggest enemies to this.
