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And yet, today, I am not.
My mind is impure.
I take my fingertips and place them directly over my thymus, which is also the heart chakra. While Norse mythology dominates in the prophecy, other parts of the world blend in as well.
Of course. My husband and I will lead the world. We will be one with all beings, which means learning and incorporating from all cultures.
I wish Cam could be my husband.
The thought slams through me so hard, I startle, my head shaking enough to cause a small pain at my temples.
“NO!” I say, louder than I want, control so thin it’s an old thread threatening to break.
For one minute, I rub the heart chakra. It's designed to warm me and to build my immune system. The masters are very concerned that my immune system be as robust and healthy as possible.
My husband wants a perfect wife to match his own perfection.
Deep breaths come next, inhaling first in my lungs, then imagining my kidneys inflating, my throat, my chest. It’s a four-stage inhale and then I release all of the air, feeling tiny muscles along my organs crying out with joy as blood pumps deeper within.
On the outbreath, I moan, choking as the last gasp of air in me exits. My arms stretch out to my sides, hands splayed, the whole purpose to expel every ounce of air in me.
White spots dot my vision, my neck and chest flushing, but still I push, hard, so hard, the wheeze of air leaving me, the curl of my belly as I let go of all I took in nearly making me faint.
Sweet, blessed air floods me as I inhale again.
Now, I’m allowed to go to the window and look outside, seeking a glimpse of the moon.
It’s a sliver, behind a cloud, but as I look through the glass I see movement.
A man.
Not just any man.
Him.
Quiet, oh, so quiet, I walk on tiptoes, slipping down the stairs without a single sound. Smooth like water, I move with fluid grace until I’m downstairs, barefoot and in leggings, my shirt long and flowing as the wind whips it behind me. A strange wind picks up as I turn to the right to catch the man.
Instinct is not part of my life. I know the word, but not the feeling.
Until now.
“Cam,” I say, strong enough for the man to stop, his chest rising and falling fast, his eyes glazed until he stops, hands on his hips, and gives me a puzzled look.
Can energy move across long distances, through air, and touch the heart? Our chakras must be aligned, for he walks closer to the house, stopping halfway up the walk, and just stares.
Deep into my soul.
I stand and take three steps before halting. I stop myself because if I don’t, I’ll defile the world.
Override my obligation to humanity.
Ruin everything.
Oh, how I want him to ruin me.
Ruin me forever.
“Paige?” He does a doubletake. “No, not Paige. Paigelynn, right?”
