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“I can’t give you this,” she murmurs. Her hands roam over my body before she wraps her arms around my neck.
“I know.”
“Do you want to stop?” she asks. I shake my head. There’s no way I’m stopping this now. I want her too much.
“Then what do we do?” she asks me.
“We do what we’ve been doin’. I’ll give you whatever you need, Raven.” She smiles and presses her lips to mine again. Her kiss is soft this time, telling me all I need to know. She isn’t interested in more because this is all she can do. So why do I still want it? Why do I want to open myself up to this? Why am I still willing to do it? I don’t know the answer to that.
Raven and I play in the water and have a blast. We laugh and touch, just having fun being with each other. It’s the best feeling in the world. I feel complete and content. That’s not something I feel with Cara. I always feel a little on edge with her. I don’t feel this closeness I feel with Raven.
Something gnaws at my insides, and I can’t place it. I shake it off and continue to enjoy my time with Raven before we both make our way out of the water. We laugh as we walk back onto the beach and drop onto some towels that have been laid out.
“I don’t think I’ve laughed this much in a long time,” she tells me.
“I’m glad you’re laughin’. I think it’s been a while for me, too,” I admit.
“Then I’m glad we could do that together,” she says, glancing up at me. I nod and look out at the water as it crashes against the shore. There’s something peaceful about sitting here watching the waves and hearing them crash. I close my eyes and lay back on the towel, letting the world drift away. That’s when I feel her. Raven. She lays down next to me, her hand resting on my chest as we breathe.
“You wanna talk about what happened to you?”
“No. There’s nothing to talk about. What happened was disgusting and horrific, but you guys made it right.”
“So why do I feel like there’s somethin’ you aren’t tellin’ me?” I ask her. I can feel it deep inside; there’s more to her story.
“Because there’s something I’m not telling you, and I can’t. I need to fix it. I need to make what happened to me right on my own.”
“Is it dangerous?” I ask, keeping my eyes clenched shut. I don’t know if I can look at her and know she’s about to do something stupid. I know what we do is dangerous, and if it has something to do with her being taken, it’s just as unsafe.
“It might be.”
“Then let me help you,” I tell her.
“I can’t do that.” Her hand flattens against my chest as I raise my own and cover hers. Something about this girl sets my insides on fire, and knowing she’s going to leave us, leave the clubhouse and do something that could put her life on the line doesn’t sit right with me.
“Why?”
“I need to face it myself. I need to know I ended it,” she says softly. I sigh, knowing nothing I can say to her to make her rethink this. Raven’s made up her mind, and she’ll do what she wants regardless of how I feel about it. Instead of dwelling on it, I roll to my side and cup her cheek in my hand.
“Just promise me you’ll call me if you need help.”
“I will. I promise,” she promises, opening her eyes. They lock with mine, and the heat you can feel between us is stifling. There’s no denying the current that runs between the two of us, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
“Will you miss it?”
“Miss what?”
“Bein’ at the clubhouse. Knowin’ you’re safe.”
“I’d like to say no, that I can handle myself, but clearly, that wasn’t the case the first time. I will miss it. I’ll always be thankful to you guys for what you’ve done for me,” she tells me.
“You can always come back.”
“I don’t know if that’s going to be an option.” Her words burn deep into my core. Why wouldn’t it be an option? What the hell is she planning on doing that’s so bad she can’t come back? The more I think about it, the more I can feel the tension inside me build. I don’t like the idea of her being out on her own when this is all so fresh, still new. It’s too much.
“I’ll be fine, Cross.”
“I’m sure you will.”
