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I did love watching her.
“He’s good at that. Sacrificing himself.” I meant it. One of the things I remembered fondly about Eli is how he was always there for anyone who needed him.
“Even if the other person supposedly doesn’t know it.” The edge in Eli’s voice was distinct and sharp. “Hell, I did it for Austin’s career.”
If I’d known that at the time, I never would have let him. Any chance we could fight through it, and get it out of the way? “Why would I have assumed that? My staff told me a story, and I had no reason to think otherwise at the time.” I’d been soadorablynaive.
“Because I told you how I felt. Because why would I just go without a word?” Eli gave me a look of intense disbelief.
It was hard to answer the question from my perspective then, knowing what I did now, but I would try. “I thought you thought the sex was bad.” Or rather, I thought he’d figured out we just weren’t going to work together.
“We were kids. Who’d never done it before. Of course the sex was bad. I didn’t know any better. And then when they told me…” Eli clenched his jaw and scrubbed his face.
They told him I wanted to do the show alone. That I said I was better without him next to me. Those lying fucking assholes made him thing that I wanted him off the set. I could see how that would fuck a guy up. I didn’t know at the time he’d been told any of that, because those words had never come from me. When I found out, much later, I’d been furious. By then, it was too late. Eli was done with me, with taking my calls, with all of it. “I didn’t say any of the things they told you I did.”
“I didn’t know that at the time.” His voice went quiet.
Yeah, well, “You never even tried to call me. To confirm.”
“I tried. Over and over. Every time I was near a phone, I tried to call and ask you why you hated me. They only ever told me you wouldn’t take my calls.”
“Would you like me to come back, so the two of you can talk?” Kandace asked.
We both reached for her at the same time, with overlappingNos.
“Please, don’t.” Eli got to the rest of his sentence first. “I’d much rather your company than his.”
“I’d rather be spending the evening with both of you,” I added. “And I’m sorry, Elijah. I really, truly am.” And I had been for years. He never deserved what they did to him on my behalf.
He sighed. “Yeah, well sorry doesn't fix what fifteen years of therapy hasn’t touched.”
Swell. Not.
We went back to our burgers, with an awkward silence settling into the room. When a loud chirp penetrated the lack of conversation, we all jumped.
Kandace reached for her phone with a frown. “I’m sorry, it’s my son. I need to take this.” Her chair screeched on tile when she pushed back from the table, and she wandered away as she answered.
“I don’t know why you still carry that thing in your wallet.” Eli’s comment caught me off-guard.
Ah. He’d seen it after all. “Carry what?” Ridiculous for me to pretend, but it wasn’t as though my being sentimental would crack his shell.
He almost smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and it didn’t look pleasant. “The photos in your wallet. The ones we took at that stupid photo booth they brought on set for episode 372.”
“Are you really so jaded that every one of your memories is bad?” I wanted his forgiveness, but this… “It wasn’t stupid. It was one of the best days I ever had on set.” Because I didn’t get to go to the mall as a normal kid growing up, and for a few days, that changed. Sure, it was all fake, but I could pretend.
And Eli and I had to do so many takes in that photo booth. Making goofy faces. Figuring out how to fit both of us in there.
“Itwasstupid. Because they didn’t put film in it until the end, so you have the only photos,” Eli said.
Did he just… I wasn’t going to make a big deal out of the fact that he just showed a hint of something other than grumpiness. “It’s a strip of four. Do you want two?”
“I’m sorry about that,” Kandace said as she pushed through the door leading from the kitchen, holding three beer bottles by the necks. She paused a few feet away and looked between us. “Did I interrupt? Do you want me to come back?”
Yes, but also no. “We’re good,” I said at the same time Eli said, “Don’t go.”
I should’ve said that. So much better. This was why he was the script fixer. “Is everything all right?” I asked as Kandace sat a drink in front of each of us and sat down. “Or has something tonight driven you to drink?”
She gave a light laugh. “The beer is from Gage. He says it’s on the house as an apology. I also get the impression he wouldn’t be offended if we were to mention his microbrewery to friends and fans if we enjoy it, but he didn’t say that. The call was an out, in case I needed it.”
