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It couldn’t.
The thought didn’t leave me that night, though. And the next morning I still couldn’t figure out what kind of bad public image Lucas might have that would keep him out of a college musical. Was I missing something about his behavior? Was I living in denial about how my son spent his free time?
It didn’t seem likely, but I couldn’t get rid of the thought. I needed to know.
I checked out Dr. Allman’s office hours to make sure I could catch him, told work I’d be in a little late, and headed to the university. I wasn’t going to be the mom who yelled at a teacher for things that weren’t their fault. I wouldn’t demand Lucas be given a role he hadn’t earned.
But if something was happening with him and I’d missed it…
I didn’t want to be that mother either.
A short while later I was shaking Dr. Allman’s hand and we were exchanging pleasantries.
“What can I do for you, Ms. Newton?” He asked.
I wanted to approach this delicately, rather than unhinged. “I’d like to talk to you about what you said to Lucas yesterday.”
Like that, the professor’s expression shifted to stony. “What about it?”
“You said something about his public image.”
“That’s correct.”
What was I supposed to do with a flat response like that? “So it’s not about his acting or singing.”
“No. In fact he excels at what he does, and if he overcomes his other issues, I did invite him to try out again next year.”
I knew my son was good, but it was nice to have the bias confirmed. “What other issues? Forgive me, I’m trying to track down what’s actually going on. Is this a matter of grades? Is he struggling someplace else?”
“No.”
This wasn’t helpful in any way. “I’m not here to tell you how to do your job, Dr. Allman, I’m simply concerned about my son. Can you tell me if it wasn’t talent, and it wasn’t anything he’s done, why he didn’t make the list? If there are that many talented students here, then that’s fantastic.”
The professor’s smile was unpleasant. “These productions mean everything to the students who are cast. For many of them it’s the start of a career, and for others they simply want to stretch their wings. Every student I chose will pour their hearts and souls into their parts, if they’re lucky. The costume makers and set designers will do the same. None of them deserves to have their productions canceled because of bad press about one person.”
“You just told me Lucas’s reputation wasn’t an issue.”
“No. But his mother is dating a man responsible for a little girl’s kidnapping in another country. You don’t think that shit trickles down?”
What? My confusion switched to fury in a blink. Lucas was being denied the part because ofwhat? This required a whole new approach. “Let’s break your logic down, shall we?” I adopted a cool tone to match Dr. Allman’s, and let a professional side of me slide in that I usually reserved for difficult work negotiations. “Who I choose to date is not a reflection of the people around me.” No, that wasn’t quite right. I hated that the statement wasn’t more true. “My son does not pick and choose my boyfriends.” Again, not quite true. Not that he gave me permission, but I wouldn’t be with someone who Lucas didn’t like or who didn’t like him. I wasn’t doing a great job of this so far.
Time to back up. “Austin wasn’t responsible for a kidnapping, and even the article didn’t say that, which means you’re getting your news from people misinterpreting what they read, instead of reading the source yourself.” A fact. That was a good start. “He wasn’t involved in any way except helping to find the missing child. If you’d cared to read past the headlines, you’d know this entire thing was the product of a bitter woman looking to blame everyone but herself.” Which I needed to avoid in this case. “As for the other students in your production, I pity each and every one of them, that they’ve chosen to work with you.”
“Really. Why is that?” The professor sneered.
“For those who choose to stay in the industry, to work in any public facing job, if they don’t already know, they’ll learn soon enough that bad publicity and false rumors come with the territory. That’s not fair to them, but it’s the way the world works. For them to discover at this point in their careers that one of the people who’s supposed to support them, that you as their supposed mentor, are more worried about your own tiny little ego, than you are about your students… That will crush a lot of them.
“If any of them stops to think for a moment about the fact that you would rather throw a mentee under the bus, that you would rather cave to fear-mongering and gossip, than stand by someone who’s being slandered… The only thing some of them will take from this experience is that the people who are supposed to support them can’t be trusted any more than anyone else. And that’s a horrible lesson to be responsible for teaching another human being.”
“I don’t—”
I silenced him with a glare. “I’ll recommend to Lucas that he consider a different path—community theater, another school, whatever keeps him away from you—for him to pursue this dream. ButIunderstand that sometimes we have to associate with unpleasant people, and that’s not an individual’s fault. You have a good day, Dr. Allman.”
I stalked from the office, ignoring any of his stammering. Rage spilled through me still, making me feel like I’d drunk two pots of coffee brewed with energy drinks.
Despite what I’d told Dr. Allman, I didn’t want my decisions to have this kind of impact on Lucas. Could I really be with Joystick and Eli if this was what it was going to do to my family?
28
