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“Have you lost your fucking mind? You can’t claim me as yours. It’s barbaric. Besides, if you owned me, you’d have more respect for me than you do.” Her voice wavers on the last couple of words. When she tries to pull away this time, I allow it. “You left without a word, like you have every other time, and I had to assume you didn’t want me.”
“If I could quit you, I would’ve done it long ago,” I confess, hating I’m the reason tears pool on her lower lashes.
She nods, knowing it to be true. I never asked for this. I wasn’t looking for her or any situation that looks like this. I’d planned on spending my life alone. I didn’t want anything else. I sure as fuck didn’t deserve it. The last woman I loved died because of it.
“You could’ve said goodbye,” she whispers.
“And I will the next time.”
She shakes her head. I don’t know if she’s trying to reject my words or if it’s because she doesn’t believe me at all.
I lean in closer, my fingers finding the back of her neck. I pull her closer, her eyes brimming with tears as she locks her eyes with mine.
Her eyes don’t dip to my lips like they did in the beginning.
How the fuck could I have missed this part?
I swallow just before inching my face forward, brushing my lips against hers once before slipping my tongue past her shocked lips.
She’s frozen in place for a long moment before the reality of what I’m doing hits her. She moans into my mouth and I swallow it down as if it’s water and we’ve been trapped in a desert for months without quenching our thirsts.
Her fingers grip on to me, holding me tight as if she’s afraid she’s going to lose me in the next breath, or as if she’s certain I’ll fade to mist when the kiss is over.
Goddamn, she’s perfect, and a tingle of regret slinks inside of me from all the missed opportunities to do just this.
Her body shifts, her knee coming up on the seat so she can angle her body better. I pull her to me, gripping her ass so she can straddle me.
Even the blare of my horn as her ass hits it doesn’t have the power to break the kiss. Her mouth is minty, no hint of alcohol on her lips. She’s here, completely in control of her own body, not being led by some false sense alcohol could provide.
I nip at her lips twice when she pulls back to take a breath.
“I can’t be yours if I don’t know who you are,” she whispers.
I nod once before leaning in to kiss her once more.
I know I have a lot of explaining to do, but I also know that it won’t happen tonight. There are so many things I need from her before I risk sending her running for the hills.
I need to remind her of all the things I can give her before I lay my trauma at her feet.
Chapter 39
Alani
I press my fingers to my kiss-swollen lips as I stand a few feet behind him, recalling the way he kissed me in the truck, threatening a second later that he’d fuck me right there if I didn’t get back in my seat and put my seatbelt on.
He didn’t bring me to that filthy motel we first hooked up in. Instead, we’re at the more expensive one the Cerberus people put Ayla and me up in for a night.
The woman behind the counter is going extremely slow, but I realize why when I catch her looking up at me several times.
Donavan isn’t like biker cool. He isn’t going to smile to try and reassure anyone that he isn’t a psycho.
I do smile at her, however, because she looks like she’s seconds away from calling the cops.
I press my body to his back, leaning my cheek against his bicep. I feel him freeze because it’s just as out of character for me as it would be for him to experience it.
We aren’t soft and cuddly. We aren’t the type of people who hold hands or whisper sweet nothings, but there are probably very few people who would understand this dynamic between the two of us.
Eventually the lady accepts his cash payment and hands over the keycards for the room.
“The only room available is right beside the elevator,” she says, earning a scoff from Donavan before he turns around and leaves the front desk.
“She was letting you know that if you scream for help when you hear the elevator that someone would hear,” he says once we’re on our way up to the fourth floor.
“Good to know,” I say, trying to sound teasing, but honestly, I’m a little worried.
I’m not foolish enough to think everything is fine. His claim on me doesn’t mean much when he doesn’t know all my secrets. There’s a very real chance he’ll bolt the second he does.
