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Just one small word, but I knew she was telling the truth. About that much, at least.
“Good.” Good because it meant I didn’t have to fucking kill her, the one woman who I had ever let into my heart. “Now get the fuck out of this house. I never want to see you again.”
I stalked out, leaving her weeping her crocodile tears.
Chapter 32
BETH
When he left, I collapsed shakily onto my bed. I wanted to curl up and weep. I wanted to chase after him and beg him to listen.
But he wouldn’t. I had seen the hardness in his eyes. He thought I was a gold-digger. A scheming whore who wanted nothing more from him than money. Who would fuck him for it. Who had invaded his home, who was responsible for his sister’s overdose.
He thought all of that even before I had told him the truth. That I really was a scheming bitch. That I really had done it for money. Money to get my mom into Mountview.
That I had never trusted him, not even when he had told me he would look after my mom.
I had never trusted him enough to tell him about the baby growing inside me. Scared he would not want our child. Or scared he would take our child away from me. And I couldn’t lose my precious baby, whose presence in this world already filled out the empty corners of my heart and made me feel such blazing hope amongst all the darkness.
I had always thought I wasn’t good enough for him, that he would dump me in the end. Get rid of me. And now he had.
And oh, did it hurt. So bad. Like a sharp pain tearing up my ribs. Wrenching out my insides.
And suddenly I was terrified about the baby. I ran into the bathroom. Checked for blood. There was none.
I wasn’t losing the baby. It was just my heart that was crushed. Smashed to pieces.
“Oh God,” I gasped.
And then I knew nothing more than the urge to flee from this place. If I stayed here one moment longer, I was going to vomit.
Or beg him to keep me. Beg him like a pathetic little nobody and let him tear me up all over again.
I almost raced out of the house with nothing, but then feared I would have to face the indignity of having to come back for my purse, my personal belongings. Or have a smug Vittoria send them to me.
I wouldn’t give her that satisfaction. I would leave with whatever dignity I had left, though it was almost nothing.
I had waited in my room after Vittoria’s ultimatum, hoping that when I explained everything to Marco that he would understand. But I had been a fool. She had been right all along. I meant nothing to him.
I packed the few of my own clothes I had brought with me into a bag, and some of the art pieces I had made into another. The ones whose materials I had purchased with my own money.
I left the dresses he had bought for me, the handbags, the shoes, the jewellery. He could stuff them in the bin for all I cared.
I left the diamond ring he had given me too, carefully on top of my pillow.
And then I crept out like a thief, down the stairs, weeping and so desperate for my tears to not be seen by Vittoria.
I was glad there were no staff around to see me, no man coming out of the guardroom near the front door to check why I was leaving, no driver sat in a car outside.
I clutched my trolley bag and hurried down his street full of fancy houses, feeling like a thief.
It was only on the next road that I realised I hadn’t said goodbye to Chiara, to Amara, and my heart broke all over again. Amara would come home from school and would look for me.
I paused on the street corner to send a text message to Chiara.
Beth:I’m sorry, Chiara. I’ve had to leave. Marco and I ended things. Please message me if you need to.
Once I sent it, I worried it wasn’t enough, worried she would feel like I had walked out on her the very day she had finally opened up to me.
