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No wonder her pastries taste so good.
And then, it struck him. I used to be just like that.
The revelation landed hard. He loved his daughter and his family more than he could say, and he sure as hell appreciated this life he’d worked so hard for.
But that kind of deep-down, unfettered happiness?
It had ended the night he stole Booker’s dreams.
He knocked on the French door. As she swung around, she saw him standing there and jerked to a stop. “Jaime.” Hurriedly, she came to let him in. “Why do you love scaring me half to death?” She pulled out the ear pods.
“Sorry.” He followed her into the kitchen.
“Did I wake you?” As she pulled a cake pan out of the oven, she glanced at the clock. “I didn’t think anyone could hear me.”
“They can’t. I can smell what you’re baking.”I’d be aware of you if you were on the moon.
“Oh, I see. So, now my cooking’s too loud.” She grinned. “Got it. I’ll try to keep it down.”
“I’m a light sleeper. You know, always got an ear out for my daughter.”
“Yeah, the little sneak. And you left her alone?” She pretended to be alarmed.
He held up the monitor, aware it was a little over-the-top for four in the morning. His daughter slept soundly through the night.
She laughed. “Of course. Do you have invisible lasers pointing in every direction, setting off alarms like in someMission Impossiblemovie?”
See, this?This kind of easy, fun conversation was deceiving. It seemed simple, just the way people chatted. But with Gracie, it was so much more. All his cylinders were firing, sparking, revving. There was a connection between them he’d never had with anyone else. “What a great idea. I’ll get on it.” He liked teasing her. “Trust me, for four years, I’ve slept with one eye open, ready to see the flash of her nightgown running by. She’s always off on a mission.”
“She doesn’t get scared sleeping in a little cabin in the woods?”
Affection bloomed for his little girl. “Actually, she loves it because she gets to see the entire ranch. I built a balcony for her, and she likes to dress up like a princess and survey her land. You should see her with her plastic tiara and wand.” He caught her grinning at him. “What?”
“She’s a lucky girl.”
“Oh, yeah. Growing up on this ranch…there’s nothing like it.”
“No, I mean to have you as a dad.”
“I don’t know about that. I mean, I try. But I have to make up for the fact that her mom’s not around.”
“And didn’t want her to begin with. That must be a hard story to explain to a little girl.”
“She’ll never find out about that. The only thing she’ll know is her grandparents loved her, and she’s got my whole heart.”
“Oh, I have no doubt her confidence comes from knowing how much she’s loved. Does she ask about her mom?”
“She has, once or twice, but it’s complicated. Kinsley’s got no memory of her, and I’m not sure she’s old enough to ask the kinds of questions an adult would want to know. But our family has a cemetery, so I made a headstone for her. We walk over there a couple of times a year so Kinsley can talk to her mom in heaven.”
“That’s really beautiful.” And then she shook her head. “I can’t figure you out. On the one hand, you’re superhero handsome, but then, I think you’re more like the biker version with the tats and the scruff and the growly voice. Most of the time, you’re all hard and serious, and then, you tell me something like this, and I think, God, you’re such a sweetheart. Like, who are you?”
“I’m a man trying to fix his past mistakes.” He pushed off the counter, grabbed a glass from the cabinet, and poured himself water. “I’m a dad trying to raise my daughter to be responsible and disciplined. Luckily, I’m not in this alone. I’ve got my family here, and my mom and sister pick up the slack because I can’t change the fact that she’s never going to have a mother.” It was a constant concern that flickered at the edges of his mind. It would have to impact her. He just didn’t know how. “I have to hope what I’m doing is enough.”
“I’m not sure anybody escapes childhood without some trauma. But anyone can see you’re doing a great job.”
“It’s just so damn frustrating because I’m trying to get her to control her impulses, but it’s not working.”
“I don’t have kids, but I’ve watched my parents raise four boys, and I can tell you they couldn’t control anything. You know how the oldest is supposed to be the achiever?”
