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He’s perfectly considerate and polite, but I can feel him restoring the boundaries between us as he speaks.
What did I expect? That we’d sleep together, and he’d declare his love for me and say we should get married and be together forever…
For one glorious night, I knew what it was to be loved by him and feel the bliss of being with the man I adore. It made me forget I am just the nanny, and we can never have a permanent relationship.
The finer details of how we made love ripple through my thoughts, and the thrill of his touch lingers.
Does he regret it? I know I don’t. But I’m certain I will pay the price, and my heart aches for more.
He’s keeping his distance and being business-like, which makes me think he probably does regret it. When he said we should be friends, he didn’t suggest anything beyond that.
It was me who did that, and now I’m embarrassed.
He leaves the room to shower, and I sink into a sun lounger on the balcony, sipping my coffee, and gazing at the park in the distance. It’s another idyllic summer’s day, and here I am on Sebastian Rochester’s private balcony, which I didn’t even know existed until this morning.
Billionaires, aye?
What else don’t I know about him?
Rays of gentle morning sun caress my skin, and I rest my empty coffee cup on the table and close my eyes as images of him waking me at dawn—his hard length pushing against me—dominate my thoughts.
As I lay there, I remember how I felt his stubble grazing my skin, and his musky smell teasing my senses, bringing me to the edge. There was a burning need in his eyes as he rolled me onto my side and his body moved flush against mine. We had barely slept, and when he entered me, we needed no warmup. Wet and ready for him, he slid into me, and I cried out as he made me his again before we collapsed into another lust-filled doze.
‘Hey, sleepy head,’ he says, popping his head out.
He startles me out of my daydream, and I open my eyes. He is ready to leave, and his dark, wet hair glistens in the sunlight. His driver will pick him up in five minutes and he’s going to skip breakfast and get something later, he tells me.
The words wash over me, and I feel empty because I’m losing him. Losing him to his Rochester commitments and his inheritance. Is that even a thing? The thought crosses my mind that maybe he’s only saying that to make me feel better about him not wanting anything serious with me.
‘Daisy’s not home yet. Her friend’s mother just texted me to say the girls want to play some more and she’ll drop her back later. I gave her your number so she can be in touch. Okay?’
I nod. I’m pleased Daisy’s having a good time, and I’ll have a chance to pull myself together before she gets home. But Sebastian’s business-as-usual façade sends a chill through me, and I want to cry out that I love him. I want to ask him to stay longer.
But I don’t. Of course. I smile at him brightly, as if everything is perfect in my world, and I couldn’t wish for more.
It was me who proposed friends with benefits, after all, wasn’t it?
My heart twists and my chest hurts as he rushes around, getting ready to leave.
He pauses at the door, turns to me, and says, ‘Thank you for a lovely night.’ There’s a genuine smile on his shapely lips, but his eyes look dark and guarded, as if he’s unsure what to say and what my reaction might be.
‘I’m going to slip away now. See you later,’ he says. His tone is casual.
No words come out of my mouth. My insides lurch and I feel like I’m being ripped apart.
Slip away.
I don’t think I’ve ever hated two words more.
He opens the door, waves, and then he’s gone.
‘Bye,’ I say, but it’s too late for him to hear me.
I have no one to blame but myself for my heartache.
What a fool I’ve been.
CHAPTER26
