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Yes. When is it?
I give her the dates, and she says she thinks it would work.
Lizzy:Let’s get together soon to discuss deets and give the media something to talk about!
She adds a laughing face emoji. It’s all a game to her. If it wasn’t for Nat, I suppose I could have some fun with it, too. It’s not like I’d be hurting anyone. But all I can think about is Nathalie’s face, and how she’s going to feel when she finds out.
Oh fuck.
CHAPTER27
Nathalie
I’ve been panicking since he left for the office this morning. The boldness I felt last night has fled, and I feel vulnerable. What have I done? It seemed like the right thing in the madness of the moment, but now I’m not sure.
Daisy will be home soon, and I need to pretend everything’s okay, but I’m in a state. What if Sebastian thinks we’re going to continue like this? And even worse, what if he doesn’t even want to?
There’s a ping on my phone and I check my messages, expecting it to be an update from Daisy’s friend’s mother. But it’s from Sebastian, and my hand shakes slightly as I click to read it.
My spirits plummet further when I see he’s back to business as usual. No mention of our night together. He asks how I’m doing and then gets straight into what’s happening with Daisy. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed he’s acting normal.
I reply in the same way I usually would when he’s in touch about Daisy. We’ve never texted about anything else, so I shouldn’t be surprised that today isn’t any different.
But I’m sad. A tiny slither of me hoped things might change dramatically now, and he would see how good we are together and want more than the stupid arrangement I offered.
I text a cry for help to Juliette, and we message back and forth. She tells me to calm down, and everything will be okay. She thinks it sounds like he’s crazy about me and it’s just a matter of time until things grow more serious.
Tired of texting, we switch to a phone call, and I ask her if she’s forgotten he’s the son of a mega wealthy family that will never approve of a relationship with someone like me.
She asks what I mean by someone like me and says he’d be lucky to have me. I remind her I’m just the nanny, but she won’t have it. Juliette is unfazed by my sob story about how I said I was up for a friends with benefits arrangement, and she is confident things will work out.
‘Take it one day at a time, and see what he does,’ she advises.
But she’s such a romantic, so although I long to believe her, I can’t be as positive as her.
She calms me down by the end of the call, and when Daisy arrives, I throw myself into keeping her entertained.
Sebastian doesn’t text again, and I try to keep my mind off how awkward it will be when he gets home later. It’s my fault for throwing myself at him and offering myself on a silver platter.
‘Are you sad, Nathalie?’ Daisy asks suddenly when we’re in her room sorting through her many books.
‘No. Why do you ask?’
‘You usually smile a lot and today you look sad,’ she says, studying me with a puzzled expression on her sweet face.
‘Maybe I am a little sad, but it’s nothing for you to worry about,’ I say. ‘But you know what would really help?’
She raises her eager brown eyes to mine. ‘What?’
‘A big hug from you,’ I say, smiling.
We hug, and it really does help. She’s such a lovely girl, and I don’t want to think about my time with her ending. I decide to shake myself out of this melancholy mood. ‘Want a swim?’ I ask, knowing this is her favourite activity and we always have fun in the pool.
The weather is overcast now, but it’s warm enough to swim in the heated pool and sit in the garden, so we change into our costumes and head outside.
Mrs Johnson is in the kitchen and promises us a round of freshly baked muffins by the time we finish swimming.
Daisy is giggling when we jump in and she swims doggy paddle next to me, and I pretend to race her. There’s no deep end, so the pool is relatively safe, but we don’t allow her to swim alone. She’s thrilled at this unexpected swim. Hyper from her night at her friend’s, she tells me they stayed up late to watch a movie and eat popcorn.
