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Anything is better than thinking about the worst option that landed in my head and lurks there like a parasite.
What if she’s on her way back to Paris?
That night, I barely sleep, only nodding off in fitful bursts.
Daylight is a welcome relief and I check my phone again, but there’s nothing from Nat, just the usual torrent of work updates from my assistant. My head is throbbing, and I need to pull myself together, so I’ll deal with those later. A hot shower with the water pumping at full blast revives me, and I dress hurriedly and head out to the garden to drink my coffee. It’s still chilly, but there’s a promise of late summer warmth to come, and the familiar chatter of birdsong fills the air. Normally, I love my garden, but today the beauty of it passes me by and all I can think about is that Nathalie won’t be in this garden or swimming in this pool anymore.
It’s still too early to call the agency or the embassy and I have a morning meeting at my London office. Thank goodness Daisy stayed in Hampshire, or yesterday would have been an even bigger nightmare. I don’t want to think about breaking the news to Daisy that Nathalie has gone, and the thought propels my weary body into action.
My driver’s waiting outside, and I’m just about to leave for the office when the doorbell rings and shatters the uncharacteristic silence of the house. My heart thuds as I stride across the hall and fling open the door, ready to do whatever it takes to get her to stay and never leave again. Relief courses through me and I’m ecstatic she’s come home.
I’m ready to admit how much I want her now.
But standing on the doorstep, is a small neat looking middle-aged woman. Disappointment slithers through me as I look at her and I can’t summon a smile, but I do my best to be polite. ‘Yes? May I help you?’
She rests her case on the ground and looks up at me. ‘Mr Rochester? I’m the temporary nanny, Ms Thorpe. Pleased to meet you.’
My mouth drops open and all I can do is stare. This issowrong. She looks like the type of woman I expected to find when I came home to Nathalie in nothing but her swimming costume.
‘I’m sorry, there must be some mistake. We don’t need another nanny,’ I blurt out, unthinking.
Now she looks confused. ‘The agency called me yesterday and asked me to do emergency cover because your nanny had to leave unexpectedly? Just until they find you a long-term replacement,’ she says, flashing me an uncertain smile.
‘You’d better come in.’
Letting her in seems like an admission that Nathalie has gone forever, and I hate it. I want to shout at her we don’t need a new nanny. But I won’t be rude to this woman who has come all the way here at such short notice, so I stand aside.
Whilst she takes a seat, I call my assistant, who answers on the first ring.
‘I messaged you she was coming,’ she says. ‘The agency emailed me late last night to say Nathalie asked them to provide emergency cover because she had to leave.’
‘But I don’t need her now.’ I try not to snap, but I’m irritated as fuck. All I want to do is get to London and be done with my meeting so I can search for Nathalie.
I thank the nanny for coming but explain that Daisy won’t be here until the end of the week. Extracting a wad of crisp bank notes, I press them into her hand and tell her that should cover the inconvenience and travel expenses incurred. ‘I’ll tell the agency to pay you for the whole week,’ I say, so you’re not out of pocket.
The bewildered woman leaves in a taxi, and I lean against the door, fervently hoping I won’t see her again. The reality of employing a new nanny hits me hard, and my stomach is in tangles.
Nathalie, Nathalie. Where are you?
CHAPTER43
Sebastian
My long-suffering assistant has instructions to find Juliette’s address whilst I take care of urgent business on the way to the office. She calls me back soon after to tell me the agency only has Nathalie’s phone number and doesn’t know her whereabouts. ‘And the embassy wouldn’t give me any details about their staff. Understandably,’ she adds. ‘They will not divulge private information about embassy employees, just like that.’
‘Yes, I suppose you’re right, but it was worth a shot.’ I sigh.
But she hasn’t been my executive assistant for years without knowing how to conjure rabbits out of hats. ‘I found her surname, though. She’s called Juliette Laurent, so I shall begin a search for listings that may have her Knightsbridge address, and I can track her down that way.’
My chest stirs with wisps of hope, and I release a long, measured breath. ‘You’re a star. Let me know as soon as you have anything.’
Fortunately, she knows better than to pry and ask why it’s urgent to find our runaway nanny in Knightsbridge!
She must think I’ve lost my mind, but the most important thing is to find Nathalie, so I brush those thoughts aside.
The morning meeting trickles by until I can’t stand anymore and bring it to an abrupt end. Glancing out the window at the London skyline, I see dark clouds have submerged the earlier promise of sunshine and it looks like rain is coming. By the time I step out of the hotel, it’s spitting, but the air is clammy. We crawl through the busy streets, and I ask my driver to drop me near Hyde Park. He does his best to stay close in case I want to jump back in the car, but it’s impossible in the morning madness, and soon he’s out of sight.
My mind is elsewhere, and I don’t notice the rain tickling my face as I stride towards the French embassy. I get through security and speak to a receptionist who confirms they don’t give out personal information in any circumstances.
