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Banging on his door, I yell, “Judd, we need to talk. Now!”
He opens and looks me up and down. “What the hell, Erin? You look like a drowned rat.”
“Did you slap our son?”
He crosses his arms over his chest. “Yes. He needs to learn some respect.”
“Respect? What the fuck do you know about respect?” I spit.
“Glad to know your back to cussing like a sailor. You can take the girl out of the trailer park but… well, you know the rest.”
“Enough!” I yell. “I’m done with you and your bullshit.”
“Is that right?”
Trying to push down any tears that may be struggling to make their way to the surface, I say, “For years, I have put up with you. I have taken the brunt of your insults, and I have tried to keep the peace, but I’m done.”
With every passing second that I look at Judd, I just get more and more angry. I want to punch him in his stupid face.
Not giving him any time to speak, I ask, “Did you really arrest my boyfriend?”
He laughs. The kind of laugh that a psychopath gives after hurting a puppy. “Come on, Erin. I was just having some fun with him.”
Moving closer to him, I say, “Let me tell you how this is going to go. You’re going to drop ALL of the charges against Tanner. You are going to be nice to him in passing. When you pick up the kids, you will smile and wave to both of us without saying one negative word, and then, you will leave. You will never lay a finger on any of our kids ever again. And unless it involves our children, you will stay the fuck out of my life from now on.”
With a little smirk, he asks, “And what if I say no to all of that?”
I pull out my phone and hold it up. “Do you know what I have on here, Judd? Every negative word you’ve ever spoken to me. Every nasty text message. Every angry voicemail. I’m sure a judge would be very eager to hear how to speak to me, and even more eager to hear that you slapped our son who just wanted you to stop talking bad about his mom. If you don’t play bymyrules from here on out, I will take you to court. I will file for sole custody of the kids, and I will win. And unlike you, when I say it, it isn’t some empty threat. I mean every word. So go ahead. Try me.”
We stand there staring at each other for a few moments before Judd says, “Just where exactly did you suddenly get your big brass balls from?”
“Judd, you have known me for over fifteen years now. What’s the one thing in this world you don’t mess with? My kids. So, I guess I should really be thanking you. If you wouldn’t have hit Chris, I’d still be sitting at home, half scared of you, and keeping my mouth shut.”
“Let’s say you did take me to court. Do you really think you could raise three boys by yourself?”
Now, it’s my turn to smile. “Who said I would be doing it by myself?”
“You really trustthatguy to help you with three boys? He’s going to run out faster than I don’t know what.”
“Judd, he hasn’t run off yet, and he’s been put through the ringer.” I say the words, and I hope to God they are still true. I hope that he’s still willing to give this a shot. “Tanner has never wanted to take your place. He isn’t trying to play daddy. But he’s another person to care about our kids. Just like Mary Louise is. How would you feel if I treated her like trash?”
He stands quietly for a moment before saying, “I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“Well, guess what, buddy? I’mdoneletting it happen with Tanner. So, the ball is in your court. Either get over yourself, or we can go to court and let them handle this. Your choice.”
Before he can actually respond, I storm out the door. I pull out of his driveway so fast that my tires squeal. I’m halfway down the street before I have to pull over. My tears are flowing so hard that I can barely see out of the windshield.
As soon as the car is stopped, I let out the loudest scream that I can. It feels like fifteen years of bad energy is rushing out of my body. No longer will I let that man dictate a single thing that I do.
My tears are not ones filled with sorrow but ones filled with liberation. I feel like for once in my life, I’m doing things on my own terms.
And I’m just getting started.
In no hurry to go home, I drive around for a while once I’ve contained my tears. I want to go talk to Tanner, but I have no idea what I want to say yet. I’m not sure quite how to convey how much of an idiot I’ve been this whole time.
I end up in the town square. Maple Oaks may be small, but I hardly ever come into the heart of it. The kids’ school is on the outskirts of town, and when I need groceries, I typically hit up Walmart or Costco. I never really have a reason to come down here.
Some new shops have gone in, and I drive slowly past to see what they are. One catches my eye, and I immediately park.
