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The sweet smellof salt water fills the air. The waves rush to the shore while birds fly above trying to find their breakfast. I’m the only one on the beach, but that will change once the guests at the resort start waking up. The employees will be out, setting up umbrellas for shade, kids will be splashing in the sea, and surfers, boats, and people who plan to swim will be frolicking in the water.
Last night I had to kiss Josh good-bye. I’ve had to do it before, but this time it was different. He’d be going to a suite with Rob while I went to one with my parents. We won’t see each other until later this evening when I walk down the wooden dock that will be laid out for me. I teased him and asked why he didn’t want to stay the night with his mother and step father, or even his father and brand new step mom.
Nina wasted no time informing Josh’s dad about our new house in the hills, the reality show, and our destination wedding. And like her, he showed up, but did one better than her and brought Josh’s shiny new step mom. By shiny I mean very plastic and very young. It took about twenty minutes of her touching his arm before I had enough of her and gave them directions to the nearest hotel. Of course that wasn’t good enough for his father and he demanded one of the rooms be made up for them.
Demanded.
I told him I’d get right on it. The rooms are still bare and as long as his parents are in town they’ll remain that way. What really sucks is that they con Josh out of money. I don’t like it, but it’s not my place to say anything. I know what’s his is mine and all that, but it doesn’t seem right. I’m not the one earning what he’s spending on their hotel rooms. The one thing he did do, which I laughed about for hours, is offer them a suite to share at a fairly nice hotel, or separate rooms at a cheaper one. Shockingly they took the cheaper one.
Behind me, the cameraman is filming. Every now and again he gets up and walks around to get me face on. He’s asking questions, trying to get me to open up about today and how I feel.
“It’s funny,” I tell him. “Josh and I have been married eight months, you would think any nerves I have would be gone.”
“But they’re not?”
“No. I think they’re stronger than ever because now I know what to expect. Before I had no expectations. I thought the man I matched with wouldn’t haven’t anything in common with me or he’d be someone I never thought I’d see myself with.”
“You mean ugly?”
“No, I didn’t say that.” I keep my gaze focused on the ocean. You have to be careful what you say, or how you react around the camera because the smallest things get blown out of proportion. Blaze PR has me on all the social media sites, and while I do have access and can post, I rarely respond to anything. People can be intrusive and because you’re a public persona they feel you have to answer every question they throw at you. Ask me what I ate for breakfast and I’ll tell you. Ask me what Josh wears to bed or how many times we have sex and I’ll ignore you.
“Are you excited for today?”
“I am.”
The theme is mermaid with aqua blues, seashells, and sand candles. We figured if we were getting married at the beach it might as well be beach themed. The wooden dock or aisle was my mother’s idea so I could wear heels. Nina’s idea was to ask the wedding guests to bring money as gifts. I have no doubt in my mind that if we did that we would never see the checks. Aside from a few suggestions from her, everything has been what Josh and I want, with input from my mom.
My toes dig into the sand, wiggling their way deeper and deeper until my ankles are covered. I thought it would be cold this early in the morning, but it’s not. I like being out here this early by myself. It gives me time to think even with the camera pointed at me.
My mom, Rebekah, Nina, and I will have breakfast together before going to the spa where my day starts with a massage, followed by a mani/pedi treatment, and finally hair and nails. My hair is going to be curled and off to the side with a seashell barrette I found at a mall kiosk. It was a lucky find and as soon as I saw it I knew I needed it for today.
I had hoped Millie would come to the wedding, but being very pregnant and flying over the Pacific Ocean is highly frowned upon. Cole and her are still married, which means they’ll likely get the house on our one-year anniversary, but they’re not together. They live in separate states and Cole comes to visit her.
She took my advice and started looking into his mother and found that she’s a dirty crook. Their relationship is different. For the longest time Millie wanted him back and when he finally pulled his head out of his ass, her feelings had long changed because of the resentment she’s been harboring. I feel bad for her. In a way her relationship is as twisted as Jules wanted mine and Josh’s to be.
Out of all of us I thought for sure Millie and Cole would be the ones to make it. I pretty much knew Gary and Amanda would end, and as far as Josh and I, I had hope.
Turns out that hope is all I needed.
* * *
My legs feelwobbly and my steps tentative. I hate heels, but they’re an evil necessity for this dress.
My dress. . .
I fell in love with the first one from the bridal boutique in Alabama, but when I met with the designer and she showed a sample of a champagne-colored gown similar to the one I had chosen, that’s when I knew Jules had done me a favor. I’m still Cinderella, but the beadwork I have is now smooth, soft silk that shimmers in the light. I can run my hands over my bodice and not be afraid to pull or rip something. Josh and I can dance and he’ll be able to touch me without snagging a bead or getting one caught on his cufflink.
Each step I take closer to my dad, brings back memories from the show, except now I can see. I’m not blindfolded. This time I’ll see him standing at the end of the wooden aisle way, standing proud and looking dapper in his tux. His smile is bright and happy. I have no doubt he was like this before, but I don’t have the proof. Now I do.
“Are you ready?”
I nod, probably too eagerly but I don’t care. It feels like I’m marrying Josh for the first time.
“I am.”
As if on cue the violins play the “Wedding March” over the crashing waves. My mom, Rebekah, and my cousins have already walked down the aisle. I’m the only one left.
Carefully stepping onto the wooden planks, I look at the pink rose petals my flower girl set out for me. My dad bends his arm at his elbow and offers it to me. Inhaling deeply, we walk toward the bend that will put my Josh right before me. Once I turn the corner, we’ll see each other for the first time in eighteen long, painful hours.
