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My mother’s pastel manicured fingertips cover her mouth and her eyes water. “Don’t be cruel. You’re not like your father.”
“Apparently,” I mock back.
Mom reaches out to grasp my hand. “I’m sorry, Cary. Rex swore me to secrecy, and I didn’t understand the bargain I was making. All I wanted was for you to have a good home. Two parents. Stability. I love you. I wanted to tell you.”
“But you didn’t. You let him hold power over us. You watched while he made a mockery of me to keep you in line. And I suppose you’ll want to explain next that you never cheated on Rexy again.”
“I didn’t.”
“Why the hell not? You had nothing to lose.” I peg her with a hard stare. “You could have left the wayyourmother did.” Grandma skipped out on Grandad.
“I would have had to leave you behind or risk the dealerships.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
“In this case, about as stupid as you think I am for staying. Rex conned me, Cary. I was nineteen and foolish, for heaven’s sake, and Rex wanted your grandaddy’s company any way he could get it. I’m not too proud to admit I was as quick to jump into bed with a sweet-talking man as you are with any woman.”
My fist clenches because this verbal sparring is as close to duking it out as we’ve ever gotten. “It’s a good thing Grandad taught me it was wrong to hit women.” I wouldn’t punch her. I don’t get any masochistic sense of relief putting women in their place.
“Listening proves you aren’t your dad’s son, now doesn’t it?”
“He did a damn good job of poisoning me whether or not his blood runs through my veins.”
“Yet, you stand here looking for the best in a person, forgetting that your grandfather’s been gone longer than he was around to teach you better. Spit roast me all you want, but when it comes down to it, I was faithful to my marriage when it mattered.”
“You mean when it suited you. Do you even care Rex is dead?”
Mom cocks her chin to the side and looks up at me. “In silence, I grieved during the years beforehand, trying to keep my son and get back what he rightfully deserved. After the funeral, it’s time to put the past to rest and move on.”
I roll my eyes, glancing toward the staircase. “How great for you having my entire lifetime to become self-aware! Maybe after I’ve had a quick shower I’ll as easily compartmentalize how my mother spent twenty-six years pretending she hadn’t fucked someone else.” The lingering scent of grease and motor oil permeates my nose, and tomorrow I have to play the grieving son. Perpetuating the lie to my employees and the people who know us best makes me feel dirty.
Davina is hot on my heels as I stalk to the steps, trying to get away from her and make sense of my life.
Mom grips the oak banister. “Cary, don’t you have questions abouthim?” I can tell from her tone she means the man who contributed to my DNA.
“What difference does it make? You told me the guy’s dead too.” I’m half-way up.
“He has a daughter. She lives in New York.”
“Whoop-dee-doo.” I spin my index finger near my head. “Like you said, it’s time to put the past behind us.”
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4
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I’m slouched on the sofa, staring at the long dresser we’ve used as a television stand and the stepladder next to it. Found at an estate sale, Laurel and I dragged it home and into the backyard where we took black paint to the frame and three different colors of pastel to the six flat-faced drawers. Each row is a different shade and it fits our retro theme to a tee. The high-definition TV is off and unplugged, waiting for Dusty to come work his magic this evening and hook it up for us.
Laurel scoots in after work while I’m studying the atomic black cat prints with teal backgrounds bought off of Etsy. I had them framed at a shop on the main drag in Brighton’s old downtown area near Baked Beans and Paisley’s, an upscale boutique my girlfriends like to shop at.
“How was traffic?”
“Do you mean the cars on the road or the planes the controllers kept circling in the air during the deluge this morning?” My sister whips the silk from her neck, wrapping it over her head babushka-style.
“That bad?”
“The delayed departures all got off the ground.” Laurel sighs, flopping next to me.
