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I bit back my smile, knowing exactly what he was trying to say and finding it ridiculous that a grown man was so awkward saying it. Especially a grown man who was so cocky speaking of the subject in question in any other environment.
My OB smiled, too, likely catching on to the vibe and Kip’s general demeanor. She didn’t jump in to save him either.
“We’ve been having a lot of… sex,” Kip said, clearing his throat again, his cheeks turning pink. “And I know all the books and the websites say it’s fine, but the, uh, sex in question has been quite… intense.”
I swallowed my chuckle at the same time I moved in my chair to counteract the way my body reacted at the mention of the intense sex in question. Kip had wanted to treat me differently, gentler, but I was somewhat of a sex fiend, and he soon forgot about things like treating me gently.
My doctor didn’t answer Kip straight away. She let him stew in his obvious discomfort, and I loved her all the more for it. Then she looked him up and down. “You’re not gonna hurt that baby,” she said definitively.
It wasthenthat I couldn’t swallow my chuckle.
* * *
“Have you given any thought to a doula?” Kip asked, looking up from one of his countless baby books.
He was really going through them.
I was eating chocolate-covered almonds and watching reality TV.
“Is that a kind of casserole?” I asked him.
He shook his head, chuckling. “No, a doula is a birth coach.”
I knitted my brows together. “A birth coach?” I repeated.
He nodded.
“I’ve got a doctor.”
“A doula is there for you in different ways than a doctor is. They advocate for you,” Kip explained.
I paused my show, not wanting to miss a moment of the catfight in a restaurant. “Okay, well, I’ll think about it.”
“The good ones are going to be booked up if we don’t move soon,” he said. “I’ll set up some meetings.” He looked down at his phone, tapping at the screen.
“You will do no such thing,” I told him, pulling my feet back from his lap.
“It’s only some meetings. After that, you can make a choice.”
I placed my almonds on the coffee table, sitting up. “I will make the choice,” I said, caressing my stomach. “Me. I get that you’re making strides and reading the books and generally trying to be better, but a few weeks of you acting decent doesn’t mean you get to make all the decisions,” I snapped, rubbing the back of my neck, suddenly feeling hot.
“I get to make some of the decisions,” Kip shot back. “That’s my baby. You’re my wife.”
I pushed myself off the couch so I could pace the room. “Oh, you need to fucking stop with the whole ‘you’re mine’ bullshit. I am not yours because you decide it.”
“No, the state of Maine and the baby inside you decided it,” he replied.
I glowered at him. “Fuck you,” I hissed. This time, I said the two words as an insult, not in the semi-playful tone I normally used.
“You have to forgive me sometime,” Kip said, quite obviously catching my tone and serious expression. Although I was tolerating him being nice, letting him rub my feet and give me orgasms, I had made it clear that I hadn’t forgiven him.
I stared at him, stopping mid-pace. “Do Ihaveto?”
He caught the aggression in my tone because it was impossible not to.
Nevertheless, he didn’t back down. “Yes,” he said. “We’re going to have a daughter, and I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t want her growing up confused about her parents’ lifestyle. I don’t want this to be a fake marriage. It isn’t a fake marriage. It’s real.”
I chewed my lip, fury simmering in every ounce of my blood. “I’m glad you're getting the opportunity to tell me all the things youdon’twant out of this. Let me get a pen and paper so I can make a list, so I’m sure not to forget all the things I must do for my husband, all the ways I must bend to give him all that he wants.”
