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“I understand why you hate Dantalion, but why does he hate you? I’m the one who killed Valac, not you.”
Nate laughed bitterly and without the slightest trace of humor. “He doesn’t hate me. I’m just his favorite game. He loves that I hate him, and now I’ve given him a new way to torture me. All he has to do is go after you, which he was doing anyway.”
I let his words sink in. Nate’s job of guarding me had just turned into his worst nightmare.
“Could someone else take over this job so you don’t have to see Dantalion again?” I whispered. I didn’t want a new guardian, but if that was what Nate needed, I’d deal. Even if the mere thought made my stomach churn.
He looked at me then, his glare fierce enough to make my next breath lodge in my throat. “I’m not going anywhere, baby girl. Don’t you dare think that would make anything better for me.”
“Then whatwillmake this better?”
He moved fast. One second he was sitting a couple of feet away, and the next he was right in front of me, his hands grasping my cheeks as his mouth crashed against mine. The kiss was everything I remembered it being and somehow more. His tongue swept over my lips, urging me to open for him. As soon as I did, he deepened the kiss, his tongue tangling with mine.
My eyes closed on their own as I tried to hold back a moan. The last time Nate had kissed me, he’d been quick to pull back and declare it a mistake. And maybe he was right and this was a bad idea, but I couldn’t find it in me to care at the moment.
I trailed my hands over the bare skin of his abs and back while our mouths devoured each other. Hard muscles made up every inch of his torso, but his skin was soft and warm, like velvet stretched over marble.
“Talk to me,” he gasped, pulling back from the kiss. “I need to hear your voice. Tell me about your family. Distract me.”
I might have tried to reconnect our lips instead, but he was still holding my cheeks and there was no way I could move if he didn’t want me to.
“My family was perfect, to the point where I almost felt guilty that I’d been blessed with so much love. I have a younger sister and brother, and all five of us were always really close.” I took a deep breath. “When I was sixteen, my dad died of a stroke. It came as a complete shock. One day he was fine and the next he was just gone.”
“I’m sorry.” Nate twisted a lock of my hair around his finger.
“He’s missed so much in the past five years. I hate thinking about all the people in my life he didn’t get to meet, the experiences we won’t get to have together, the changes my family made. If Mom had known what she learned later about health and diet, maybe he could have survived. But it was too late.”
Nate’s thumb brushed over my cheek, wiping away the tear that slid down it. “That’s why you went vegan at sixteen.”
I nodded. “If we’d had time, if he’d been sick for a while, maybe we could have saved him. We just didn’t know anything was wrong. He seemed fine—went to the gym regularly and never had any problems. We had no idea what was happening on the inside. And I’m not just vegan. I don’t eat any processed food if I can help it.”
Nate didn’t say anything; he just continued watching me and catching my tears as they fell.
“People tell you that the pain gets better over time. I think at the very least you learn to live with it. But what everyone forgets to mention is how it can hit you whenever something important happens. Dad never met Kylie. He never got to see Merida open Fountain of Youth. He won’t be there to walk me or my sister down the aisle at our weddings. He won’t even get to meet the men we marry. He’ll never get to be a grandfather. And it’s when I think about the big things he’s missing that I miss him the most.”
Nate pulled me into his chest, his arm going around my shoulders. “No one would ever ask you to stop missing him.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
I closed my eyes, focusing on the feeling of his skin under my cheek and the strength of his arms tight around me. “I’m terrified of losing someone I love again. I’m afraid everyone will leave me and I’ll be forced to live life alone.”
Nate’s lips brushed over my forehead. “That won’t happen, baby girl. You’ll never be alone. Even death can’t really take them away from you. Your father’s still watching you—he still loves you—even if you can’t see him right now.”
“Are you saying that because you want to make me feel better or because you have inside information as an angel?”
He chuckled, and it sounded so much lighter than the bitter laugh from earlier. “Both.”
“What about your sister? What happens when angels die?”
“Our souls pass on without our bodies, just like a human’s.”
“How does that work? Can you see her when you’re in Heaven?”
He shook his head. “No. Living angels can’t cross the veil that separates us from the souls of angels who’ve passed on.”
We sat together for a minute, watching shadows dance over the walls.
