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“I’m an angel, not a demon. I won’t burst into flames if I set foot in the building.”
“Dodemons burst into flames if they enter a church?”
“No,” I said flatly. “No one has ever burst into flames. It’s just something atheists say when they don’t have a real excuse for why they don’t want to come to a religious event.”
“Can I ask you something?” Kylie stared at me intently through the window between the kitchen and dining room.
“If I say no, will it make a difference?”
“Do you love her?”
I stilled, my pulse thundering in my veins. I wasn’t ready to think about words like that. I didn’t want to love anyone, especially not someone so breakable and mortal.
I was fond of my brothers in the secret order, and I still held love for my sister and parents, but that wasn’t the kind of love Kylie was talking about. It wasn’t all-consuming or passionate.
I didn’t want to fall in love. Falling in love was handing someone the weapon to destroy you and praying they didn’t decide to use it.
What I felt for Sierra already terrified me. I couldn’t stand to be more than a room away from her at any time. But I refused to entertain the idea that I could love her. I was holding on to my heart with everything I had. I wasn’t willing to let it go.
“You don’t have to have an answer right now, but just know that if you hurt her, you’ll live to regret it.”
“Is that a threat?” The idea that Kylie could make me pay for hurting Sierra was laughable.
She smiled sweetly at me. “I don’t have to make threats. I’m just reminding you of what you already know.” She downed the rest of her coffee and stood, disappearing into her bedroom.
Her words lingered in her absence, turning the room cold and making my chest feel tight with something close to panic.
An hour later the three of us were sitting in Sierra’s car while I tried, and failed miserably, to keep my eyes off the amount of leg showing beneath Sierra’s navy-blue miniskirt. She wasn’t a tall person, but at the moment her legs looked miles long.
I wanted to reach over and place my hand on her bare thigh. She might even let me. But Kylie’s question from this morning held me back. I needed to be careful. I’d accepted that staying away from Sierra was impossible. Now I just had to learn how to walk the fine line between following the rules and not going fucking crazy.
“You okay?” Sierra asked, glancing over at me.
“Yeah.” My voice came out raspier than normal, which made my words sound less than convincing.
“You know, you don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Nate—”
“I’m fine,” I gritted out. Though I was feeling less fine by the minute. Despite my flight this morning, my back itched with the need to spread my wings. I felt too warm—the fire in my veins trying to make itself known. My body was preparing to meet a threat, but there was no threat. There was nothing to fight.
I stared out the window and watched the world go by in a blur of colored leaves while I listened to the sound of Sierra breathing, counting her breaths and trying to clear my mind.
Sierra pulled into a parking spot, and I watched her step out of the car. She hugged her sweater around herself in the early-October air. It was getting too cold for her to be wearing skirts like the one she had on now.
And I was officially crossing into controlling-asshole territory. I didn’t normally mind sitting squarely in that category, but trying to dictate what Sierra wore was a whole new level of overbearing. One I was sure she wouldn’t appreciate.
I followed her and Kylie into the church to a pew where a woman sat with her other two children. The resemblance between them and Sierra was obvious.
Mrs. Meyers had long red hair streaked with gray, braided down her back. She looked younger than I was expecting considering she had a twenty-one-year-old daughter and hadn’t had a completely blissful life. There was a very real possibility the skinny jeans and nose stud had something to do with that effect.
She smiled, her whole face lighting up when Sierra slid into the pew beside her, and the two women did that half-hug thing people did while sitting.
“Mom, this is Nate.” Sierra reached out and tugged me down to sit beside her. “Nate, this is my mother, my sister Faye, and my brother Timmy.”
Mrs. Meyers reached across Sierra to offer me her hand. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Nate.”
