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“My middle name, really? You can’t manipulate me, Jacob.” My pussy seems to disagree with that as it’s already on fire from just the few words he’s spoken.
“I’m not trying to, but you’re like a bull ready to charge—”
“Can you blame me?”
“No,” he says and I’m actually surprised I didn’t get an argument from him.
Neither of us says anything for a moment and I pull my gaze away from him. The sun is almost completely set, making the room almost dark and the last thing I want is to be alone in the dark with him. “And second of all?” I say as I turn on the lamp on my nightstand in attempts to prevent the atmosphere from getting even more intimate.
“What?”
“You said first of all, watch your tone,” I say in a deep voice as I imitate him. “What’s the second of all?”
A smile pulls at his lips. “That’s how I sound, huh?” I cock my head to the side, trying to show my annoyance and not the slight amusement I feel at his response. “Second of all, Trey and Chloe do still talk from time to time.” I furrow my brow in confusion because that is definitely news to me. “Seems like that’s a shock to you. He misses her. It’s no secret that he was in love with her too back then, he just fucked up.” He shrugs. “That’s not my business. But I saw the opportunity to give him a chance to talk to her and while yes it wasn’t a completely selfless act because I knew that would grant me some alone time with you, it was not something done maliciously. Furthermore, I certainly do not see your cousin as collateral damage here even though she is a pain in my ass.”
“She is just looking out for me.”
“She doesn’t need to do that where I’m concerned.” He frowns but even still he looks gorgeous.
“Oh? Because you weren’t here when she was picking me up off my bathroom floor once a week. You weren’t here when she was holding my hand through hours and hours of crying or holding my hair back when I drank my weight in whiskey. She helped fix what you broke, Jacob.” I wasn’t going to play games with him. I wasn’t going to pretend like he didn’t break my heart. But that part of my life is over and I had no interest in going back to it.
He at least has the decency to look contrite and runs a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, Whitney.” I don’t respond. I just let those three words sink into my skin. “Can you forgive me for doing that to you? To us?”
“Even if I can, it doesn’t change anything,” I tell him. He sits down on my bed and he pats the space next to him and I shake my head. “No.”
He lets out a sigh and looks up at me with the saddest blue eyes. “Fine. Whitney you werenineteen. In your second year of undergrad and your whole life ahead of you…”
I sigh. “The age argument is tired Jacob, try again.”
“We weren’t ready for each other,” he tells me honestly. “Call bullshit if you want but there’s a huge difference between you three years ago and now. I can tell in the ten minutes you’ve allowed me to be around you tonight. There is a difference between being nineteen and twenty-two and it’s not just your ability to legally consume alcohol. You’re different.”
“I’m happy.”
“You were happy being with me. Don’t try to tell me otherwise. I would have been prepared to tell your parents if I felt you were ready to be with me.”
“EXCUSE ME?” I shout before clasping a hand over my mouth. I shut my eyes, hoping I didn’t draw much attention to us from the party down below. “I begged you not to go. To let me come with you. To be with you. I was ready to tell my parents. I was ready for the fallout. You’re really trying to put this on me?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “Not at all. I take full responsibility for hurting you and everything that transpired. I ended things and then I just left you. I just… I knew that if I stayed, I’d never be able to get over you. You would never be able to get over me. It would have been hard for both of us. But I truly did think it was for the best.” He gets off the bed and moves toward me. “I was scared of what all of it meant. My feelings for you. Your feelings for me. And yeah, I was a little worried about what your parents would think because as your mother so eloquently reminded us not long ago, I was the second person to hold you after you were born. And then I was in love with you and I didn’t know how to explain what changed and how you weren’t the same little Whitney that I taught how to ride a bike. I didn’t think we could make it work. I panicked, alright?”
I’ve never known Jacob to lie to me so I’m sure that he was thinking all of these things way back when, but what’s the point of telling me all of this now?
“So, what’s all this now? You thought I’d wait around for you to stop being scared of my dad? Whose… and if you repeat this I’ll deny it, ass you could kick by the way if he threw the first punch.”
He chuckles. “I’ll take it to the grave.” He reaches up to touch me but not before asking me with his eyes if it’s okay. I hate that I don’t move and the gentle brush of his knuckles across my cheek sends a shiver through me. “I just… I thought I’d have more time.”
“More time for what?” I whisper.
“For a second chance with you.”
His words are sobering and I’m grateful for the moment of clarity. “Jacob.” I shake my head. “You’re saying all the right things but… you’re only here because you heard I’m getting married. Where was this energy a year ago? Hell, six months ago? You’re treating this like it’s a game or about the chase, and it’s not. It’s my life.”
“It’s not a game. Not the chase. None of this was a game. I couldn’t… I wasn’t able to come back before.”
I cross my hands in front of my chest. “You have a phone. Why didn’t you call?”
“Like I said I just… I thought I’d have more time. I wasn’t expecting you to meet someone and get engaged in the three fucking years I was gone, Whitney,” he says as he moves away from me and begins to pace the room. “I thought about you every day for three years. At first, I believed I was doing the right thing. That you would move on and meet someone and that it was the best thing for you. I was too old and we had too much history and it just wouldn’t work out. But after a while… I couldn’t get over you Whitney, and there’s a reason for that.”
“So, what you’re mad that I didn’t… wait for you? You broke up with me, and I was supposed to take that as you just needing time? What kind of ridiculous fuckboy logic is that?” I interrupt because I refuse to take responsibility for something I didn’t have a say in to begin with.
