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Shit.
The sounds of the crackling fireplace and the forest behind my house move around us as I wait for Kevin to start. He’d asked to talk, and I was more than willing. I knew that if he didn’t ask, I was going to.
“Whitney, man.” He finally speaks and when he looks over at me he’s holding a glass of whiskey tightly in his hands. “Of all the people…”
“I know.I know.”
“You don’t though. You couldn’t possibly know what this is like and you won’t until you have a child of your own. A daughter. A sweet, precious little person that you vow to protect with every ounce of you. Then you’ll know this feeling. This feeling of being lied to and betrayed and by someone that you trusted more than anyone. The family we made for ourselves. That’s what Michelle called you. When her parents died, and my mom died and your dad died, we were there. We’ve always beenthere.” He sniffles. “How could you do this to me? Did our friendship really not mean anything to you?”
“Fuck. That’s not what this is about, Kev. Your friendship means the world to me, it always has.”
“Then how could you touch my daughter!” he screams.
I have nothing but the truth. “I fell in love with her.”
“That first time? Bullshit. That was you getting hard for someone you had no business touching. The forbidden fruit or whatever the fuck.”
“That first time, Kev. I don’t know. It all happened so fast and… I didn’t… I don’t know.”
“Not good enough,” he grits out.
“But it’s all I have. I don’t know why she looked different to me that night. Why I felt attracted to her then when I never had before.” He’s staring down at his whiskey, his hands shaking and I don’t know if it’s out of anger or sadness or both. “I would never do anything to hurt you and Michelle,” I whisper.
“You did.”
“I know and I’m sorry.”
“That’s all you have to say?” He jumps to his feet and part of me wonders if he might attack me again as he begins to pace in front of me like a wild animal ready to charge.
“What the fuck can I say, Kev?” I shout. “Tell me. Tell me what I can say, what you want to hear that will make this better?” He doesn’t say anything. I stand up to face him before I continue. “There isn’t anything I could say. The only thing that would make this marginally better and easier for you would be if I said I would leave her. That I was sorry and I made a mistake but I value our friendship more than my relationship with Whitney. But I can’t say that. I won’t say that. I am not giving her up.” I stop as I prepare to unleash the words that will change everything once again. “I want her to be mywife, man.”
Kevin downs the rest of his drink and slams it forcefully down on the table so hard that I wonder if he may have cracked the glass.
“So, what is this? Are you asking for my permission? Because you don’t have that,” he snaps.
“I figured as much. But this is me coming to the father of the woman I love and telling him that nothing you say or do is going to make me leave Whitney. You will actually have to kill me first.”
“Do not tempt me,” he grits out and I can’t stop the hint of the smile finding my face.
“I am in love with her,” I tell him. “You’ve known me a long time. Forever. When have I ever been like this with anyone? Even when I was engaged to Emily.”
“You barely liked Emily,” Kevin groans and I resist the urge to chuckle over the fact that Kevin and Michelle wereneverTeam Emily.
“I just mean… I could barely even stand the sight of another woman in Mexico. I kissed one or two. That’s it. I was in Mexico for three years and I didn’t sleep with anyone.”
“Do you want a medal or something?”
“No, I want you to see that I have very real feelings for Whitney that I sacrificed for you and it hurt. It really fucking hurt. I don’t want to lose you and Michelle over this but Ican’tlose her again. And maybe you want to say to hell with my feelings or that you don’t give a fuck about them. But what about her? You yourself said how miserable she was when we broke up only you didn’t know the cause. But she loves me too, Kev.”
He lets out a breath and doesn’t say anything for a while before he finally speaks. “You know what I’ll do to you if you hurt her?”
Relief floods me because while that doesn’t sound like any type of blessing, it does sound like acceptance which is a big fucking step. “Kevin… I won’t, ever.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I know you will.”
He clears his throat. “You have a ring?”
