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"I'll have the chicken breast with rice," she said, handing the menu over.
"I'll have that as well," he said. The waitress left. Becca looked back at Noah, seeing parts of the man she used to know. He still held the same soft expression, and he had that side smirk he used when he felt bad.
But she needed him to tell her why he ghosted her all those years ago. She wanted a real reason.
"Noah." She hardened her voice, and his eyes snapped to her. "Why did you leave?"
He swallowed and then sighed. He ran a hand through his hair, and she knew that was a sign he was unsure of what to say. She remembered him doing it when he asked her out. He stood there fumbling for words before he finally asked if she wanted to go out for dinner.
"Just …" she softened her voice, "tell me the truth."
He swallowed.
"Mitch went out one night. He was out with a friend who I didn't like, but I didn't say anything. I guess his friends were meeting up with Dustin's son."
She inhaled, already seeing where this was going. Dustin was a handful, and his son was a lot like him.
"They went out into the woods and were fucking around with guns and trying to see who had the bigger cock, so to speak." He ran his hands through his hair. "This was the stupidest thing my brother ever did. He didn't usually sneak out. It wasn't like him. He said some of them were wrestling, and then others were trying to shoot at targets."
She reached out a hand, grabbing at his. His eyes snapped to her, and he continued.
"He was wrestling with Dustin's son when a shot was fired. One of the guys lost control, and the gun kicked. He shot Dustin's son. It was a clean shot straight through the heart. He dropped, and Mitch didn't know what to do."
She inhaled, seeing the disappointment on his face.
"The others cleared out, but Mitch stayed. And Dustin showed up. He lost his complete shit. I just happened to be looking for Mitch when I stumbled upon the situation. Dustin had Mitch pinned, and I damn near killed him myself."
Noah rubbed at his eyes, shaking his head.
"I knew Mitch wouldn't have done something so stupid. He wasn't even the one in the wrong, but he was taking the fall. And Dustin wanted blood, so we had a fight. If I won, my brother was free to go, but if he won, I would take my brother's punishment."
She scowled. "So you lost?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I won. But Dustin was angry. There was no calming him. He said he refused to look at the murderer of his son. He said if we didn't leave, he was going to start a war with Lev's clan."
It clicked … she suddenly understood.
She remembered the headlines and all the newspapers looking into the murder. She had ignored it because she was so angry and hurt.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?" she asked, squeezing his fingers. "All you said was you were sorry. Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were closer. I thought you trusted me."
"I did," he said, squeezing her hand. "I wanted to tell you, Becca, but I couldn't. I didn't want you involved."
She could maybe understand that. That was who Noah was. She sighed. "Then explain why you came back now?"
Noah sighed. "Dustin and his family have moved on. Mitch has had enough time to grieve over it. He felt terrible. He may not have been the person to pull the trigger, but he watched the entire thing happen."
She swallowed, and he reached his other hand across the table.
"Becca, I know I don't deserve your time. I ghosted you, and no amount of words is going to take that back, but I want to try. I still want to be with you. I will do everything in my power to prove to you that I still care about you."
She could tell he meant it. Noah had meant everything he'd said. She knew he cared about her, and she couldn't imagine the pain of having to leave the way he did.
She couldn't imagine having to fight Dustin, knowing there was the possibility of dying. She couldn't imagine having to help his brother, who was likely struggling after witnessing the death. She couldn't imagine stomaching something like that for over ten years.
She tightened her fingers on his. "I believe you."
The server came out to the patio with their food. Noah looked at Becca with a relaxed expression. She wondered if he'd been wanting to tell her for years.
