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“That’s an awful habit.” She nods toward my hand holding a cigarette.
“Does it bother you?”
“Nope. I’m just saying.”
I extinguish the cigarette and move the ashtray away.
“Is everything okay?” she asks.
“Yeah.” I wrap my arms around her and bury my nose in her hair, inhaling her flowery scent. “You?”
“I miss my dad,” she whispers, looking at the dawn sky. “It’s strange. We never spent much time together, especially in the last couple of years. I only went to Mexico during summer vacation, and it was usually only for a week or two. I tried to stay away from that madness as much as possible. Still, I miss him.”
“You weren’t close?”
“I wouldn’t say we weren’t close.” She shrugs. “We didn’t see each other often, but he called every Sunday evening like clockwork. He was very proud of me for going to college. No one in my family had higher education.”
“Was it your dad who insisted you move to the US?”
“Yes. His main goal was to get me away from the cartel, and he didn’t want me coming back to Mexico every summer, but I needed to see him and my nana at least once a year. They were my only family.”
I move my head to the side of her neck and nuzzle her with my nose, loving the way she tilts up to give me more access. “And your mom?”
“She died when I was little. Cancer. I don’t even remember her. It was always just my dad and Nana Guadalupe.”
“We’ll get her out,” I say and squeeze my arm around her waist. “I promise.”
Angelina exhales and leans her head back on my shoulder. I don’t think she believes me, but I vow to myself I’ll get her nana here, no matter the consequences.
“Sergei?” she whispers. “Where do you go when you zone out?”
I go still for a moment, caught unprepared by her question, then put my chin on her shoulder and stare at the horizon. “I’m not sure how to explain,” I say. “It’s like I’m here, but only partially. I can hear and see what’s happening around me, but I can’t control my actions. You should stay away from me when I’m in that state. I don’t want to hurt you, even unintentionally.”
Angelina turns to look at me, her eyes finding mine and holding my gaze as she places her hand on the side of my face. “I don’t think you could ever hurt me, Sergei. Intentionally or not.” She tilts her head up until her lips press softly against mine. “I’m not afraid of you, big guy.”
“You should be, Angelina,” I say into her mouth. “You never saw me lose it completely, baby. If you did, you would have run away and never looked back.”
“Is that what other people do when you lose it? Run away?”
“If they’re clever, yes.”
Angelina smiles and places the tip of her finger on my nose, tracing the line down the ridge until she reaches my mouth. “Well, I don’t plan on running, Sergei. In fact, I plan on coming even closer and holding you until you come back from wherever you go.” Her mouth finds mine, and as her lips explore, I forgetabout the blood and the killings for a moment. The rage I’ve lived with constantly for so long recedes.
Chapter 15
“Where are we going?” I ask as we’re walking toward the bike.
“You’ll see.” Sergei smirks.
I narrow my eyes at him and reach for the bag he’s carrying. “What’s inside?”
He moves the bag out of my reach. “No peeking.”
“Are we going on a picnic? Did you pack ketchup?”
“We are not going on a fucking picnic.” He straps the bag to the back of his bike and passes me the helmet. “Why would I take you on a picnic?”
“Because girls like that?”
