AllFreeNovel
Share Us
A few seconds later, I see Asya’s right hand creeping forward, toward the cereal, then it stops. I move the box closer but make sure it’s still far enough that she needs to reach for it.
“You said you liked to eat cereal at home,” I say. “Do you think your preferences have changed?”
“No.”
“Then it’s safe to say that you’d pick cereal. Come on, just a few more inches.”
Asya purses her lips together and, the next moment, her hand closes the distance to the box. She grabs it and presses it into her chest as if it’s something utterly precious.
“I did it,” she mumbles.
“See? It’ll get better.”
She spins and wraps her free hand around my wrist while her gaze bores into mine. Her palm moves upward, along my forearm.
“Thank you,” she says and leans into me slightly.
“Any time, mishka.” I reluctantly take a step back. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”
A strange expression crosses Asya’s face as her hand falls from my arm. She turns away and busies herself with pouring the milk and cereal into matching black bowls. I don’t think I ever used these before she came. In fact, more than half of the kitchen wares were unused, tidily stored away in drawers and cupboards. Of all the stuff I own, I’ve only used two plates, some glasses, and a few coffee cups. I’m not certain, but I may have used the stove only a time or two.
When Asya is done pouring the cereal, I carry the bowls to the dining room. She follows a step behind me, clutching the hem of my shirt in her hand, something she still does most of the time. Only after I reach the table does she let go of my tee and take the chair on my right.
She is so quiet all the time. When she eats. When she walks around my place. Even when she cooks. There is no clanging of pots or silverware, no noise whatsoever unless she’s humming to herself. I can’t decipher the song, but the melody sounds familiar.
I wonder if she was so quiet before, or if it’s a consequence of everything that’s happened to her. But there’s still fire left in her. It might be suppressed deep inside, but it’s there. Whoever hurt her, didn’t extinguish it completely.
Chapter 8
“Ready?” I ask.
Asya is standing in the middle of the bedroom with her arms wrapped around her midsection. “No.”
“We need to get you some clothes. Nothing I bought fits.” I nod toward the shirt she’s wearing which is at least two sizes too big. The legs of the blue jeans she’s got on are rolled up, as well. How did I fuck this up so much? When I was buying the clothes, they seemed small to me. Asya might only stay with me for a short time, but I won’t let her go around pulling the sleeves of her shirts nonstop. I want her to feel comfortable. “The store is close by and we’ll be the only ones there.”
Asya looks down at the floor, biting her lower lip.
“Asya. Look at me, baby,” I say, and she reluctantly lifts her head. “I won’t let go of your hand, no matter what. You will be safe.”
“You said ‘safe,’” she mumbles. “You didn’t say ‘it’s going to be okay.’ Why?”
“Because it probably won’t be okay. You may get scared because it’s the first time you’re going out in public after almost three weeks. You may even freak out.” I squeeze her hand. “But you will be safe the whole time. Do you understand what I’m saying, mishka?”
Asya’s eyes find mine and, for a moment, I’m taken aback by the trust I see in their depths. Roman trusted me with his clubs when he assigned me to manage them. But no one has trusted their life to me before. Feeling safe is one of the most basic human needs, and she just placed her faith in me.
“Do you want to take the car or walk there?” I ask. “It’s just two blocks away.”
She just watches me, her lips pressed tight. Looks like she’s still having trouble making decisions herself, but she is getting better. This morning she opened the fridge and took out the milk to make cereal for breakfast, she probably did it without thinking about it. Before today, she would just open the fridge and stare inside until I came and picked up the milk for her. I would never admit it, because it’s absolutely selfish, but I secretly enjoy it.
I have never needed anyone, or better said, I’ve never let myself need anyone. And no one has ever needed me. That concept was completely foreign to me until now. The idea of Asya needing me feeds a yearning that I couldn’t name before.
We’re still sharing my bed. For the first couple of nights, I thought about using one of the other bedrooms, but I’d see the fear in her eyes when I tried to leave and go back to lie next to her instead. At some point, I stopped trying. I love how she snuggles into me when she awakes from a nightmare, as if being close to me is enough to chase away the monsters.
“We’ll head out on foot, then,” I say and leave the room with her following, her hand tightly clasped in mine.
* * *
We are the only customers in the small boutique I picked. I called the owner earlier and instructed him to make sure no one else is let inside until we’re done. I also requested to have the store cleared of all personnel except the one attendant at the cash register, who was also told not to leave her spot.
