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I feel more than hear Joel pad into the room before he kneels beside me and rests a hand on my lower back. The warmth from his palm is soothing, and he rubs it in calming circles.
“It was a dream, you’re okay.” His deep, familiar voice is a comfort, helping to ground me and remind me thatthisis my reality.
I was released from the healers’ compound this morning after having spent the night there after the trial. I didn’t dream when I was at the healers’ compound, but I’ll blame the pain medication for that. I suspect these nightmares are something that will plague me for some time. I’m still weak, and my legs ache every time I use them, but I feel so much better than I did. My family and pack spent as much time with me as they could before I had to go back to the champions’ compound. Joel has been looking after me, and Syn and Scott have been nowhere to be found since the previous day in my hospital room.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Joel asks, and I quickly shake my head. No, I don’t want to discuss that with anyone, it’s bad enough that he’s able to feel my fear. He sighs quietly and his arms wrap around me as he draws me away from the toilet. Looking down at me with love, he pulls me against his chest and uses his other hand to brush my hair from my face. I’m sure I look disgusting, but he’s staring at me like I’m the most beautiful female in the world. “Let me take care of you.”
Meeting his gaze, I nod numbly, and he helps me stand. I remove my clothing with his help and step into the shower. I’m perfectly capable of washing myself, but there’s something about a mate helping with such an intimate act that makes my heart warm. As he washes my hair, his fingers combing through the knots, I wash my body. There’s nothing sexual about this, but it’s intimate and loving.
Once I’m clean, I step out of the shower and into a huge fluffy towel, and while I brush my teeth, he carefully combs through my hair. Humming in pleasure at the sensation, I close my eyes. I feel like his touch is waking me up and warming my body, soul, and mind, helping to clear the fog the dream caused.
“I was calling you.”
My eyes open, and I look at our reflection in the bathroom mirror, finding his eyes on me as he speaks. His Adam’s apple bobs, and he clears his throat, his voice uncharacteristically soft.
“I was trying to wake you, and I couldn’t. You were shaking and I could see you getting more and more distressed. I couldfeelit, but there wasn’t anything I could do.” He breaks off for a moment, his gaze falling to where his hands are working through my hair.
I continue to watch him in the mirror, seeing his frustration, pain, and hopelessness, and my heart breaks a little in the process. There’s so much I want to say to reassure him, but Joel is so used to being the alpha, to being the one that his wolves go to and rely upon, that the slightest bit of sympathy will just shut him down.
“I couldn’t help you in the maze,” he continues, slowly lifting his gaze to mine. “And I can’t help you with your dreams.”
Ah, that’s what’s bothering him, that he wasn’t able to be there in the last trial. We always knew that the council would separate us and make it difficult for us to work together. In fact, the only other contestant I saw in the maze was Syn, and I’m sure it was the goddess who sent him to me. I don’t blame Joel at all for not being there, but I can see that he does.
Taking a deep breath, I turn around and look up at him, my hands resting lightly on his chest. “Hold me, that’s how you can help me.” My eyes are locked on his so he can read the truth of my words in my expression. “Remind me why we’re fighting for all of this, why we’re fighting forus.”
A low, predatory growl rumbles from his chest, and a rush of desire floods my body, heading straight to my core. Squeezing my thighs together to create some friction, I don’t bother to hide my arousal. I see the exact moment he scents it, his pupils dilating and his hands reaching out to rest on my hips. Leaning down, he presses an excruciatingly gentle kiss against my lips, one which I chase, silently begging for more. I need him like my lungs need oxygen. This feeling goes beyond desire and into something a whole lot deeper—something only mates could experience since our souls are entwined.
I lose myself in the feel of him, my hands roaming his body, and I’m suddenly very grateful that he only wears boxers to bed. Dropping my towel to the ground, I take gratification in his moan of pleasure at seeing me naked. His hands are everywhere, giving my ass a squeeze as he explores my chest with his mouth, kissing and licking my nipples until they are hard peaks.
Sliding my hand past the waistband of his boxers, I grasp his hard cock at the same moment his fingers find their way between my legs. He circles my clit, and it’s all I can do to keep standing upright as he hums with satisfaction at the wetness he finds there. As his fingers slide into my core, I time the movements of my hand on his cock with his, and our mouths press together again as we bring each other pleasure.
When he suddenly pulls his fingers from me, I make a noise of protest, which is quickly cut off as he lifts me. My legs wrap around his middle, and the hot head of his cock presses against my entrance. He turns, carrying me from the room and back to the bed, but all I can think of is his cock and how it keeps nudging against me, pushing in ever so slightly before moving away again.
Joel lays me down on the bed, and I feel bereft at the loss of his body against mine. Thankfully, I’m not left waiting long, and he climbs over me, guiding his cock to my pussy, coating it in my arousal. A shuddering breath leaves me as he slowly pushes it into my core.
“You are mine,” he grumbles, his voice a growl as he sinks his cock into me. “And I am yours.”
The claiming and declaration only turn me on more, my nails digging into his back as my body adjusts his size. I expect him to start moving, to start pounding into me, but instead he lowers his face to mine, giving me the softest kiss.
“If you fight for nothing else, fight for us,” he murmurs against my lips, his hips gently rolling as he starts to move.
“I will,” I whisper, sensations tingling throughout my entire body. “I’ll fight for you, for us.”
This must have been what he was waiting for, because he starts to move in earnest. However, this isn’t the fast, hard fucking I’m used to, but a slower, more passionate type of sex. This is love making. While I love fucking, given everything we’ve both been through, this is what we need to reconnect.
I spend the rest of the night wrapped up in Joel, our bodies helping us heal and forget, if only for a little while.
* * *
I lie in the grass outside the champions’ compound, my eyes shut as I enjoy the sunshine against my skin. We’ve been given the week to spend as we wish, and while I’ll be training for the majority of it, I’m also using the opportunity to spend time with my pack. Before they get here, however, I thought I’d make the most of the nice weather.
I can feel Joel close by, but he’s spending time with his own pack today. I know he’s finding it difficult to be away from them and has been checking in with his second-in-command whenever he can.
“I wondered if I’d ever see you again.”
A shadow falls over me, and I open my eyes to put a face to the voice. Jackson, Joel’s cousin, is smiling down at me with a cheeky expression that always makes it seem like he’s up to no good.
Sitting up, I smile at the male, pleased to see him. I’ve been wondering how he’s been getting on. Joel doesn’t speak about him much, but when he does, it’s with fondness.
