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“Begin.”
As soon as the announcement rings through the arena, the male runs towards me, the whole ground shaking with each of his pounding footsteps. For a second, I freeze in fear.
Trust your instincts. That’s what the goddess said. Right now, my instincts are telling me to run the hell away. Star is practically howling inside me to be released, so with a gasp, I let her materialise beside me. With her at my side, I instantly feel grounded and able to think more clearly. Ears back and hackles raised, Star growls at the male running towards us, ready to attack. Seeing that the male isn’t going to stop, she dashes forward and throws herself at him, making him skid to a stop as he tries to bat her off. However, trying to fight a half-corporeal wolf made of starlight isn’t as easy as it might seem. Her claws and teeth are very much fully formed, slicing at his arms and biting down on any bit of flesh she can get to.
Seconds have passed, and I’ve barely moved a muscle, yet it feels like so much longer. Everything appears to move in slow motion as I watch him growl and twist, swatting at my wolf. Their snarling and growling almost becomes deafening, with bits of dirt and grass being kicked up as they fight.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see I’m pretty close to the wall of the arena, which is the last place I want to be because it leaves me with few escape options. Slowly, I move to the side, making sure to keep them in my line of sight while putting more distance between us.
Suddenly, things change. The male gets the upper hand, punching Star in the jaw, and as she stumbles back, her body whole and vulnerable, he grabs her and hurls her across the arena like a discus. Crying out, I watch in horror as she slams into the dirt floor. She may be hard to hurt thanks to her ability to dissolve into pure starlight, but shecanbe hurt, and I feel every bump, scrape, and cut deep in my soul.
My protective instincts flare, and anger rises within me, my body flushing with the heat of my rage. Howdarehe hurt her? Fury bubbles in my gut, stirring the hatred that’s been growing within me. Not just at him, but at the council for putting us in this situation. We were happy as we were. Our pack lived a simple life away from other werewolves, and we never hurt anyone, so why were we dragged into this? The trials have nothing to do with unity like the council preaches, it’s just a way for them to flex their power over us and remind us who’s really in control.
I want to roar and scream, kick and smash, my emotions a twisted mess of darkness.I’m going to make him pay.
The thought is so unlike me that it takes me aback, making me stop for a moment. Taking several deep breaths, I push back the fog of anger, needing to concentrate. If I allow myself to be consumed by vengeful thoughts, I’ll make rash decisions that could cost me everything.
The question is, though, how am I going to beat him? I’m not even going to be able to get close to him, let alone incapacitate him. As he turns his gargantuan body towards me, I don’t bother to hide my shudder at the look of murder in his eyes.
Star launches herself at him again, and I feel useless as I watch the two of them fight. He might be strong, but against fangs and claws, his skin just tears, and blood runs in rivulets down his arms and legs, dropping onto the ground, the bright red splotches stark against the dirt.
Realising this disadvantage, he stops in the middle of the arena, ignoring Star’s ongoing attacks as he closes his eyes and opens his arms wide. For a moment, I wonder what he’s doing when a familiar feeling travels over me. He’s shifting. He knows he’s not going to get to me while my wolf is here to protect me, and that he can’t access two of his greatest weapons. At least, he can’t while in human form.
He changes quickly, and the injuries he sustained from Star’s attacks heal instantly thanks to the shift. My stomach bottoms out as I stare at the creature he’s turned into. In my mind, I imagined his fur to be solid black with bright, angry amber eyes staring back at me, not the sandy-coloured wolf with grey eyes that stands before me. One thing I was right about was his huge size, although he exceeds my imagination. I’ve never seen such a large wolf before.
Slowly, like everything is running in slow motion again, I watch in horror as he turns to my wolf, his muzzle opening in a snarl, showing off his gleaming fangs. Unable to do anything but stare, I watch as he crouches and then pounces forward, barrelling into her with his considerable weight and size. Star is thrown backwards.
Something starts to move inside me as I see my wolf, the extension of my soul, get swiped at, battered, and bitten all while furiously trying to protect me. At first, the feeling is so small that I almost miss it, until I feel a familiar tingling in my hand. Glancing down, I see my blade of starlight materialise in my palm. I know what I need to do. I have to kill him to keep myself and Star safe.
Are you listening to yourself?my inner self screams.We don’t kill, not unless it’s the only option available.The only option, yes, this is the only option. It all feels so much clearer now that my emotions aren’t overwhelming me. Raising the blade, I position myself in the stance that Scott taught me just the other day when throwing knives. With him distracted like this, I should have a fairly good shot, I just need to keep my arm from shaking. There are several places I could aim for that will kill him, but the head or neck would be the surest way to take him down.
The perfect chance comes up. His neck is exposed as he rears up to slash his claws across Star’s flank, but when it comes to it, something stops me.Don’t do it, my inner voice begs, much quieter now, like she’s being muffled by something.There’s a better way, there must be. The words are faint, but enough to make me pause, my hand quivering.
Star’s agonised yelp has my heart turning to steel and my eyes narrowing on the other wolf who is biting into her neck. Her body pulses, and I know she’s trying to protect herself by becoming mist and starlight, but it’s too late, the beast already has his fangs in her. She’s able to free herself, but not without injury, bloody punctures in her neck. Thankfully it must have missed anything vital because she’s still on her feet, but not be for much longer, especially as he lines up as if to attack again.
She’s going to die, and I did nothing to stop it. That thought slams into me like a ten-ton blow, and I don’t realise until it’s too late that I’m no longer in control. The presence that lives within me had been growing during the fight, playing on my high emotional state and slipping into my mind alongside my anger. What I assumed was my magic growing within me was actually her. I practically laid out the welcome mat for her to take over, and now it’s too late.
The tremor in my arm instantly stops, and with a precision I’ve certainly never possessed before, the dagger soars from my hand and lands in the wolf’s shoulder. The throw was so hard that he’s knocked from his feet with a bellow of pain.
“How dare you touch her.”
The voice that comes out of me is ancient, otherworldly, and not my own. Slowly, we stalk towards the huge beast, my anger vast and unending. The creature tries to get up, but my arm is abruptly lifted, and with a twist of my hand, he starts to struggle, held down by an invisible force.
“You are nothing, insignificant, yet you think you can harm what belongs to me?” I coo. In this moment, I start to believe the words coming from my mouth. The presence is right, and I don’t know why I’ve been fighting her for so long. This wolf is nothing, an enigma, and I could wipe him out with a snap of my fingers.
Magic zips through my body, every cell alive with power. It’s a heady feeling and I feel so fucking powerful that thismaleshould be bowing before me. A tingling starts in my hands, building until I raise them both towards the wolf. Something bolts out of me and slams into him, and his yip of pain sends a thrill through me, yet that little voice is back again, screaming in the back of my mind that this is wrong. He’s not able to hurt me like this because he can’t move, and we’re torturing him.
“He deserves it.” The words leave my mouth, but I’m not the one who’s speaking. The presence controlling my body is talking directly to me, replying to that moral compass still holding on. “He would kill us given the chance. You know this.”
She’s right. He wants to hurt us. In fact, from the roaring noise coming from the stands around the arena, there are many who want to see us hurt and are baying for blood. We should show them who we really are, that we should be respected, not treated like an outcast. They should be worshipping us.
Even so, the voice in the back of my mind is persistent.We’re so close to getting free of these trials. If we just render him unconscious, then we’re through. There’s no need to kill him.We’re better than this. Remember your words from before, don’t let them turn us into a monster.
The words strike a chord, and it’s like a bucket of ice water has been thrown over me, abruptly dragging me from the power trip that almost caused me to murder another werewolf. What in the goddess am I doing?
“You spoil all my fun,” the presence voices, disappointment lining her tone as she twists her hand once more.
The wolf struggles in our hold, his eyes bulging as he looks up at us desperately. I never thought this was an expression I’d see on the face of a wolf, but I can read his fear in his eyes. The thing I find the strangest is that he’s not making a single sound, and I quickly realise that’s because he can’t breathe. Whatever magic is being used is stopping him from breathing.
