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Stop, I order, fighting against her hold on me. I might have wanted him dead, but that was when she was influencing me and before I saw how awful this is. Oxygen is fundamental to our survival, and watching him suffocate like this is going to haunt my dreams for many years.
The presence has to work harder now that I’m not willingly taking part, forcing my body to comply to her will, but she’s still very much in control. Her glee at watching him suffer flows through me, trying to hook me in, but now that my mind is free, I can see how horrifying this is. It’s wrong.
I said, stop!Something sparks through me like an electric shock at my order, my entire body jerking. She almost loses control of the magic, and I feel her surprise. Whatever I just did shocked her. Before I have the chance to try and work out what just happened and how to do it again, she rolls my eyes.
“Fine. I won’t kill him. I’ll just knock him unconscious.”
Reluctantly, I agree, pouring a little more magic into the spell to speed up the process. After what feels like a lifetime, he slowly slumps to the ground, his eyes sliding shut, only the magic doesn’t release him. The arena is filled with noise, but all I can make out is a dull roar, my whole focus on the unconscious wolf and my hands which are still raised.
That’s enough, I prompt, trying to hide my rising dread as the magic still keeps flowing. She can feel my every emotion, and she chuckles in amusement. She knows my anger, knows how it’s been growing in the time I’ve been here. Playing on my heightened emotions, she purses her lips and tilts my head to one side as we stare at the limp wolf.
“They would all see you dead,” she hisses through my mouth.
That tingling feeling swells within me again as she pulls at my magic, and I find myself nodding. She’s right, they all want me dead. They are afraid of me, of my magic and my strength, which is why they are trying to kill me in these stupid trials. No, I won’t let that happen. I refuse to be discarded like a piece of trash.
“He deserves this.”
Watching the behemoth of a wolf, I think about the look he gave me when he walked into the arena. It was one of complete hatred and sick excitement. He wasn’t just going to kill me, he was going to humiliate me in front of everyone and drag out the fight to show them just how weak I was. What males like him don’t realise is that strength isn’t just found in physical forms. I’d probably be doing the world a favour by ending his life, it would be so easy, plus, he’s not in any pain. He’d just die, and I wouldn’t even have to get my hands dirty.
Stop, daughter,the goddess says.Remember who you are.
Her voice is like a bright light shining through the fog of anger and hatred that clouds my mind. Horrified, I realise she’s right and just what I was about to do. I was about to become a murderer. There’s no justification for it, no matter how I look at it. The male is unconscious, so he can’t hurt me now, and I’ve won the battle, therefore killing him would be in cold blood. No, I don’t want this, I never wanted any of this. It’s not my place to decide who should live or die, and I refuse to be turned into a monster.
Disgusted with myself, I feel sick to my stomach. The feeling is so powerful that I’m able to pull back some of the control from the presence. With all of my might, I shove the presence so deep down that when I return to myself, it’s like I’m falling from a great height, slamming into my body and knocking all the air from my lungs.
I turn and vomit all over the hard ground, my stomach rebelling. I pant between retches, secretly glad I’m sick. It’s the least I deserve after what just happened. The mate bond twists in my chest. I hadn’t even noticed that it was being dampened by the presence, and now that it’s back I don’t know how I could have missed it. Joel’s concern and wave of warmth helps ground me, reminding me of who I really am.
Star is at my side, rubbing up against my legs, a low noise of worry emitting from her mouth. Remembering that she was injured, I feel like the worst person in the world. I drop to my knees and run my hands over her, examining her injuries and checking for others, but miraculously most of the wounds have already healed. The deeper ones are still visible but closed, and they’ll be gone within the hour.
A noise catches my attention, and I glance up to see several guards coming in to remove the unconscious wolf, their faces grim.
“Laelia is the victor.” The announcement rings over the arena, and the consequences of it slowly dawns on me.
I’m through to the semi-finals.
ChapterSixteen
Raising a brow, I watch as Syn paces the length of my room, only to turn around and walk back again. I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, so he passes close enough to touch, but I don’t think he’d appreciate that right now. Those black shadows that seem to cling to him follow him, their wispy lengths wrapping around his hands and torso, flaring as if in anger. No one else seems to notice them, so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just me who can.
My small bedroom feels claustrophobic with Joel, Scott, and Syn in here. Joel leans against the dressing table opposite the end of the bed, his stare fixed on the pacing alpha like he’s a threat. The two of them are barely able to be in each other’s presence, but after the day I’ve had, I’m glad they are not fighting. I’m too exhausted to deal with that right now. I used a huge amount of magic and energy in the fights, and now I’m totally drained, each movement making me ache.
Scott is on the bed behind me, sprawled out and staring up at the ceiling with his head resting on his arms. I can barely move without one of the males being in the way. It’s not even that they physically take up the space. The three males all have big auras, filling the air with their conflicting alpha powers and scents. My bond is happy my two mates are here, and having Scott present helps to balance out the tense atmosphere between Joel and Syn.
The latter stalks past me again. Honestly, I’m surprised he’s not worn a hole in the carpet. The thought amuses me, and with a tiny smile on my lips, I glance down, unable to help myself. Of course, Syn notices this and stops in his tracks, his dark eyes narrowing as he stares down at me.
“I’m glad you find this amusing, Laelia.”
Uh-oh, I’m in trouble. His voice is scarily calm, but his clenched jaw tells me just how angry he is. Gone are the sarcastic comments and the arrogant expression that he wears around others, and instead, I’m faced with intense darkness as he stares down at me.
Moving with the grace of a predator, he slowly crosses the room, stopping just before me. Bracing a hand on the bed on either side of me, he cages me in with his body, his eyes now level with mine. “You’ve scared the shit out of the council.”
I open my mouth to protest, but I’m cut off by his low snarl. Raising his hand, he presses a finger against my lips to silence me. I’m sure he means to carry on with his rant, but he seems to become focused on my lips, and hunger flares in his eyes. Someone clears their throat, and Syn snaps from his trance, jerking back like I’m trying to bite him. Shaking his head, he begins pacing once more, seemingly unable to keep still.
“All you had to do was just get through the fights,” he continues, picking up from his earlier comment. “But oh no, you had to convince four competitors to let you win without lifting a finger, and then you beat their biggest, baddest champion and usedmagicto defeat him.” He checks off each point on a finger as he moves. Shaking his head, he growls in frustration, throwing his hands up in the air. “I thought you were trying to convince them that you weren’t a threat and that the rumours about you forming a rebellion were just that, rumours.”
I understand his worry and frustration, I really do. None of what happened would have convinced the council that I was playing by their rules. In fact, it probably looked like I was doing the exact opposite. However, none of what I did was planned, I just had to deal with the situations as they evolved.
“I didn’t ask them to step down. They made their own choices,” I point out, glancing over at Joel to see his reaction. “Besides, there were no rules about using magic.”
