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I stop struggling and turn to look at Syn with a confused frown, my mind taking a moment to catch up.
Scott steps forward as he sees the pain on my face, taking pity on me. “When we realised you were gone, we called the healers to see if they knew anything. They didn’t, and they explained that Nicolai’s condition had stabilised.” My eyes widen, but my hope disappears just as quickly as it arrived when I feel Scott’s frown. “He’s still very sick, but he’s not in imminent danger and he needs to rest. They said you can visit him in the morning.”
He’s not going to die, at least, not tonight. All the fight drains from my body, and I weakly sit back down on Joel’s lap, being absorbed into his arms. “We’re in lockdown?”
“We reported you as missing, so the whole town is locked down while they are out looking for you.” Scott looks at Joel. “We need to let them know we found her.”
I assume the “them” in question is the council. I snort at the thought of them organising a search party when they knew full well that Bates was going to try and kill me. They are probably raising their glasses in a toast, thinking they have finally gotten rid of me. I’d love to be a fly on the wall then they find out that I’m alive and safe.
“What are you going to say?” I ask as I look between them. “Are you going to tell them about Bates attacking me?”
They share a look. “If what you said is true and the council sent Bates to kill you, then they’d cover up anything you said.” Scott shrugs, his expression apologetic. “We’re better off just telling everyone it was a false alarm.”
“So Bates gets off without any consequences?”
“Oh, don’t you worry. I’ve got some plans in store for him.” Syn meets my gaze as he speaks, his eyes darkening with grim promise. The hair on my arms stands on end, and I know that he’ll make good on his promise.
Taking a deep breath, I shake my head slowly, a headache beginning to build behind my temples. I just want to curl up with my mates and forget everything for a few hours, but there are still important questions that need to be asked. “What about the project?”
Scott glances first at Syn, and then at my silent mate behind me. Joel is usually the one who makes decisions, and Syn is the one who disrupts those plans, so the dynamic is thrown off, and Scott seems to be struggling with where he fits in. I don’t blame him, I often wonder about it myself, since our connection is somethingdifferent.
When Joel just nuzzles his face against my neck and Syn shrugs his shoulders, Scott lets out a quiet sigh. He shifts his gaze to me, and his expression is one of determination as he takes over the decision-making process. “We need to find out more about it before we jump in headfirst. For all we know, he could have been lying to wind you up, knowing how close you are to Nicolai.”
I really hope he’s right, but my instincts are telling me that Bates was telling the truth. Even just the thought of what they are doing makes me feel sick to my stomach, and the fact that they have used Nicolai as a test subject… If it turns out that all of this is true and the council is somehow involved, even if they just knew and did nothing to stop it, then I will find a way to make them pay. The presence in me seems to wake at this thought, her pleasure at my vengeful thoughts heating my blood.
On the other side of the room, Syn sits on the edge of the dressing table, his leg jigging in an uncharacteristic show of emotions. In fact, it’s so unusual for him that I can’t help but frown, the action distracting me from my plans of retribution.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly. It’s a stupid question, because he’s obviously not, but I don’t know what else to say. Honestly, I’m surprised that he’s still here. He doesn’t usually play well with the others, their alpha attitudes clashing.
When his eyes jump to mine, it’s with a pained gleam, and I see the fear there that he’s trying to hide. He looks tormented. He rubs the back of his neck, his shoulders tight, and for a moment, I think he’s going to brush it off or not answer at all. When he does speak, his response takes my breath away.
“I really thought that I’d lost you.” His quiet voice breaks, and he has to pause, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows.
The rest of us are completely silent, and from the corner of my eye, I see Scott crossing his arms over his chest, a small frown pulling at his brows. His gaze goes distant, and I know he’s reliving the moment they realised I was missing. Thanks to my bond with Joel, I can feel him reappraising Syn and taking in how wrecked he is over the thought of losing me, and he is filled with a reluctant understanding. He can’t even think about losing me, as it makes his wolf go feral, so if anyone understands that fear, it’s him.
Clearing his throat, Syn continues, his stare still locked on me. “You don’t understand how scared I was. Our bond isn’t fully formed, so I don’t feel much from you, but this was…” He shakes his head, his eyes squeezing closed for a second like he’s trying to shut out the memories. “Your fear hit me so strongly that I thought I was going to lose my mind. I couldn’t find you.” The pain in those last four words brings tears to my eyes, but I don’t let them fall, not wanting to take this moment from him. For someone like Syn to admit this, especially in front of others, it’s a huge deal.
Standing from Joel’s lap, I glance at him over my shoulder and give him a small smile, hoping he understands what I’m about to do. Reluctantly, he releases his hold on me, but his expression softens slightly. Taking a deep breath, I turn my full attention back to Syn and slowly step towards him.
“Then make me yours.” I rest a hand on his chest as I stop before him. “So we can never be separated again.”
This time, his look of pain is for an entirely different reason, but he can’t hide the rush of excitement I felt through our half-formed bond. “Laelia, we shouldn’t rush into this. The council—”
I press a finger to his lips. “The council is going to find a way to kill me whether I’m your mate or not. At least this way we’re stronger and we’re together.”
I understand his reluctance, and I know it’s not to do with me, but his tenuous relationship with the council and his own feelings of self-loathing. What I said is true, the council wants me dead, and being mated to Syn isn’t going to change that fact. If anything, it will make it harder for them to kill me if we go public about our mating. Many of the packs are already supporting me, thanks to my goddess blessed mating with Joel, so when they discover that I have another strong werewolf mate, it will only strengthen my case that Iama werewolf, even if I’m only half-blooded.
All of this flashes across his face, and I can feel how much he wants this. His jaw clenches and then releases, and he clears his throat. “You’ve been through a lot today.” This is just an excuse and not what he wants to say, that much is clear to me.
“Which is exactly why we should do this now,” I implore, gripping onto his shirt and looking up at him through my lashes. “I almost died today, and I doubt tomorrow is going to be any safer.”
“Laelia…” He runs his hand through his hair, my name a pained groan on his lips. I can scent his desire and feel how much he needs this, but for some reason, he’s pushing me away. “I’m not a gentle lover. You need gentle tonight.”
He means it as a way to put me off, but if anything, he just turns me on more. I don’t want gentle. I need him to remind me why I’m fighting so hard to make it through these trials. I want him todevourme. I’m not sure how much he can sense through the bond, but that need seems to transfer because he groans my name once more, looking skyward as though praying for restraint.
A noise catches my attention, and my head snaps towards the door, only to find Scott leaving. He glances back and meets my gaze, his expression pained. He tries to shift it to a smile when he realises I’m watching, but I see the sadness he’s attempting to hide. “I’ll see you in the morning. I’m glad you’re safe, Laelia.”
My heart aches in my chest as I watch him go, and I feel guilty knowing that I’ve caused him pain. I don’t know if he’s mourning the fact that he doesn’t have this relationship with me, or if it makes him think of his past lover and what he gave up for her. I’ll have to find him and make sure he’s okay tomorrow, however, after everything that’s happened today, I need to be with my mates.
