AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Turning my attention back to Syn, I think over his last comment, and how I need someone to be gentle with me. Shaking my head, I reach up and cup his chin, making sure that he’s looking at me when I speak.
“No. I needyou.” Putting emphasis on the last word, I hold his gaze the whole time, needing him to believe me. “Syn, we belong together, we’re goddess blessed. She doesn’t make mistakes. I want this, and not because it’s some reaction to trauma. I’ve had enough of trying to hide my true feelings.”
Saying it aloud makes me feel strong, like admitting to it gives the statement more power, and a smile pulls at my lips. However, as time ticks by and he doesn’t speak, his expression unsure, I have to fight back the feeling of rejection. Swallowing against my stinging throat as I fight off tears, I take a small step back, my arms dropping to my sides.
“You don’t want me.”
He followed my movements, frowning as I stepped back, but when I speak, his dark eyes flick up to mine and narrow at whatever he sees written on my face.
“Laelia.” He says my name with such reproach, I feel like I’m about to receive a lecture, my spine stiffening. That quickly changes, though, as he closes the gap between us and cups my face, mirroring my action from moments ago. “If I’ve given you that impression, then I’m sorry. I want this so fucking much that it’s taking everything in me not to fall to my knees and praise the goddess for bringing us together.”
Happiness flares within me, but I don’t celebrate, not when his face is still strained. “Then what’s the problem?”
He lets out a dark, self-deprecating chuckle that holds no real humour. “I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop,” he explains. “I’m not good, and I don’t deserve someone like you.”
There it is, that self-hatred that runs so deeply within him. When you have a belief about yourself that’s so consuming like this, especially one that’s constantly reaffirmed by others, then it’s difficult to see anything past it. After all, if he doesn’t love himself, how is it possible that anyone else could? It’s such a toxic thought, but one I know he feels acutely. It may take time, but I plan to make him realise he’s more than his mistakes.
Reaching up, I capture his cheeks between my palms, making sure that he’s looking at me as I speak. “Syn, I choose you.” My voice is calm despite my racing heart, because I need him to believe me. “I don’t care about your past, I only care about our future.”
I don’t know if it’s my words or my actions, but something breaks through, and I see the moment that he begins to accept that this is real. Releasing a pent-up breath that sounds suspiciously like a sob, he lowers his head and smashes his lips against mine. Gasping into his mouth, I quickly return his kiss, sliding my arms around his neck as I hold him close. I feel the hardness of his erection pressing against my hip, and I’m desperate to feel him, to taste him. However, before I can do anything more, he breaks the kiss and presses his finger to my lips, much like I did just moments ago.
“I know I don’t deserve this, so I’m going to spend every day repaying your trust in me.”
I want to tell him that hedoesdeserve this, but I know he’ll just brush me off. Years of believing the worst of yourself doesn’t just disappear overnight. I’ll just have to show him with my actions instead. He must be able to read my intentions from my expression or feel them through the bond, but a look of joyful disbelief lights up his face. Holding me close, he presses his forehead to mine.
“I may be an alpha, but you’re my queen.” It’s nothing more than a whisper, but it’s filled with passion.
A quiet cough startles me, and I suddenly remember that Joel is still behind me, witnessing this whole exchange. Until now, he’s been completely silent. His comforting presence warmed the bond in my chest, but I’d forgotten he was there. He and Syn aren’t exactly on good terms, so I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to see me pressed up against another male. As I focus on his emotions through the bond, though, I’m surprised to discover reluctant acceptance.
Turning, I don’t get far as Syn’s arms band around my middle, but I want to see Joel’s expression. He’s still sitting at the edge of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest and a small frown between his brows. I’ve witnessed fights where someone’s mate has felt threatened by another male before, and it was brutal, so I’m surprised by how mild his reaction is.
Feeling Syn shift behind me, I brace myself for his reaction, knowing how volatile he can be, but his lips just brush the shell of my ear, his breath tickling the sensitive skin. “There’s also the matter that we’ve got an audience.”
This was not what I was expecting, and taking in Joel’s expression, I’m even more surprised.
Snorting, Joel raises his brows. “I’m not going anywhere.” I’m not sure what look Syn gives him, but Joel isn’t willing to back down. “Look, I’m not going to stop you from completing the bond. I know the feeling of having your mate close but not having the full bond, and it is torture.” He sighs and rubs a hand over his face. “I’m not happy about it, and the alpha in me wants to keep her all to myself, however, the goddess put us all here for a reason. If it means that she’s better protected, then I won’t fight this.” His expression suddenly shifts, becoming firm. “After everything that happened today and thinking that we’d lost her, I’m not letting her out of my sight.”
There’s the alpha that I know and love. I must be feeling particularly emotional tonight, because tears prick at my eyes again. I blame it on the stress of the day. Alphas don’t share well, and when I learned that Syn was one of my mates, I knew it would be difficult. Even looking past their egos, there’s history between them. The fact that they are willing to work together, or at least tolerate each other for me, makes my chest tighten with repressed emotion. Sure, they are not exactly best friends, but this is a huge start.
A low rumble emits from Syn’s chest, and he wraps his arms tighter around me, making a claim on me.
“I’m going to fuck her and make her mine.” He says it like it’s a warning, but it sounds more like a challenge, and I can just imagine the look on his face. Tilting my head up, I see I was right, a sly smile pulling at his lips as mischief dances in his eyes.
Joel snorts again, and when I look back at him, I see him standing and taking a few steps until he’s just in front of me, almost pinning me to the other male.
“Then you better fucking do it justice.” Joel’s returning smile is dangerous and challenging. “She deserves better than substandard.”
He moves out of our path, taking up residence in the sole armchair in the corner of the room, his heavy stare on me.
“Oh, don’t worry,” Syn murmurs, turning me in his arms so we’re chest to chest, his attention back on me. “That’s one thing about me I can promise isn’t substandard.”
He grins wickedly, but before I can comment, his lips are on mine. All other thoughts evaporate from my mind as I’m captivated by him. Lust and need burn within me like a fiery inferno. I can finally admit how much I want him, but not just in a sexual sense. The bond is crying out for the other part of our soul, and now we can finally be together.
His hands skim my body, ripping my clothing off with savage jerks. He did warn me that he wouldn’t be gentle, and that’s fine by me. I’m no better, wishing I could grow claws like him and slice his shirt from his chest. I bite down on his lip hard enough for him to growl.
His hand encircles my neck, his thumb brushing over my pulse point. I trust him, and I know he’d never hurt me, but that one movement tells me exactly who’s in control here, and it makes my desire burn hotter. Once we’ve bonded and I’m not fighting for my life every other day, I want to explore that side of him.
Before I know it, we’re both naked, and I slide my hand down his body to his cock. It’s hard and ready for me, and we both groan as I wrap my fingers around it and give him a tentative stroke.
