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“Frenemies with benefits?” I tease.
Growling, he pushes forward again. “I’m going to turn your ass so red you won’t be able to sit tomorrow.”
I down the rest of my drink and hold it out to the bouncer as we wait for the elevator to take us upstairs. Then I turn to Jay and loop my other arm around his neck. “Promise?”
* * *
“What did you do?”I whisper in awe as Jay carries me into one of the newly redecorated bedrooms.
He stands in the center of the space, but he doesn’t let me go as we take in the details of the room. Against one wall, there’s a bed with a black leather headboard equipped with hooks. There is no bedspread, just white sheets. And the pillows aren’t meant for sleeping. No, each is a different shape, perfect for positioning in a variety of ways.
The walls are a slate gray, and the lighting is low. Against the opposite wall is a dresser I can only assume is filled with all sorts of toys.
It’s an adult dream. And a replica of the one I described to him.
“How do you always find places for us to hide, Mr. Hanson?” I say, trying to lighten the mood.
He keeps a firm grip on my ass with one hand while he uses the other to push the hair out of my face. “I’d do anything to not have to hide. I dream of the day when you’ll be proud to walk down the street with your hand in mine.”
I shake my head and squirm, suddenly needing to extricate myself from his grip. “Don’t say things like that.”
Narrowing his eyes, he squeezes me tighter in response. “Why? It’s true. I know you aren’t ready for that, so I won’t push, but Catherine, make no mistake, I came back for you, and I always get what I want.” He nips at my bottom lip.
I whimper in defeat and rub against him. “What I want is for you to make me come right now.”
“I never could deny you.” Jay chuckles, his chest vibrating against mine. “So tell me, how do you want it?”
I bite my lip and survey him. What I want is for him to fuck me until I can’t think. No sweet words. No soft touches. I need hard and quick. “You know what I want,” I dare.
With a smile, he looks away from me. “I told you what you need to do to get that, Kitten. You want my cock, I want your future. I think it’s a fair trade.”
I laugh. “You think pretty highly of your cock, don’t you, Mr. Hanson?”
“Keep calling me that, and I’ll bend you over your desk tomorrow and treat you like the dirty employee you’re trying to be.”
At his promise, heat gushes between my thighs. “Please.”
He drops me onto the bed and stalks over the dresser. “Clothes off, on your stomach, ass in the air,” he commands.
A surprised breathy laugh escapes my throat, but when he turns around holding a red silk ribbon, he isn’t smiling.
“Clothes off.”
Okay. He’s serious. I undress quickly, keeping my chin tucked and my focus locked on the floor. I don’t look like I did thirteen years ago. I’ve got cellulite and stretch marks, and a jagged line runs across my belly from my c-section. If he asks me to turn over, I’ll leave.
No one has seen me naked since I gave birth to Chloe. Sophie’s right, I’ve kept myself guarded. Kept any kind of sexual act impersonal. I’ve allowed Frank to touch me plenty, but to never really have me. Not completely.
The last man who did is standing in this room, breathing so heavily I think he may hyperventilate. The air is charged. Our chemistry is palpable—an electric undercurrent that threatens to set fire to my carefully constructed walls, to burn down every defense I’ve built up over the years.
In its aftermath, there could be beauty. Life would grow. I could start again.
Not with him.Never with him. Not after what he did. And that’s the problem. It’s the circle I continue to go in. I’ll never be able to move past what happened, so instead, I retreat into my body, choosing to ignore my emotions and do nothing but feel.
“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are?” Jay whispers, closer now, his voice a low gravel vibrating through the room.
I squeeze my eyes shut and whimper. “Please.”
His responding laugh is mirthless. It’s dangerous. Heady. Filled with anger. “Only ten minutes, ago you looked ready to beg one of my friends to touch you. Now you want me?”
