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"So essentially, you're proposing that we paint each other black before our parent's eyes?"
"Look, call it what you want, but that's the best way to handle the situation and ensure that in the future, they don't keep bringing it up."
I know she's right. We have tried everything else, but our parents won't listen to reason. Once, I mentioned that we were incompatible, and my mom said it's something you out-grow. She even mentioned that my father and herself weren't compatible at first, but they found a way to make it work. Look how well that has worked for them. "Your plan is brilliant. For now, you can go ahead and execute your part, but I'm in the middle of a lot of work. There’s so much on my mind right now, so I'll have to postpone for the time being."
"That's fine. I just needed you to consent to the plan, that's all. I will let myself out." She says and stands on her feet.
"Oh no, I'll see you off. I need to get some fresh air anyway. I’ve been cooped up in this office all day." I stack a few files and adjust them to the edge of my table before getting up. "After you," I say as I hold the door open for her.
We indulge in casual conversation for the first time in our lives as we walk down the hallway toward the lobby. Today we have mutually agreed on something without arguing, and as such, we can celebrate by talking about the weather like two ordinary people. In the lobby we exchange goodbyes and a warm hug. But as I wrap my arms around her, I quickly realize I've made a mistake. My eyes meet with Ella's piercing stare. I stand frozen in shock because I did not expect to see her here. My eyes remain glued to hers, with my arms firmly wrapped around Maria's waist until she pulls away.
Ella mouths inaudible words and storms out. Whatever the reason that led her to come all the way here, it is clear from the look of disdain in her eyes that she is ready to go back to New York because of what she had just witnessed. How was I goingto explain that this is a simple misunderstanding? It’s something that cannot be easily explained. At least not when the events of the previous weeks are in consideration.
"Ella! Ella!" I run out and call after her. I’m unsure what words I would use to convince her to turn back but the fact that I am running after her would hopefully make her reconsider. "Ella, please, just hold on a minute. It's not what you think it is. If you could just… Ella, come on, please just wait a minute," I yell and plead while chasing after her. I finally catch up to her and grab her hand as she crosses the parking lot. She turns on me furiously and shoots me a look that could kill, but I'm undeterred. "It's not what you think it is," I say breathlessly.
"Was it also not what I thought when you ghosted me the night after sleeping with me four weeks ago?" She barks.
"Listen, can we just go inside? I can explain everything. Please?"
Reluctantly, she finally turns and heads back toward my office. When she takes a seat across from me, I get the chance to look at her. It is the first time I have had a good look at her since our steamy night. It's only been four weeks, but she looks leaner and frailer. There are dark circles around her eyes which indicates she hasn't been sleeping much. How much pressure and stress has she been under since I left her? An acute sense of guilt torques through me as I remember how I left her that morning in the hotel room with no explanation or goodbyes. Leaving only my business card.
There's a thick cloud of uncertainty hanging in the air, and we're silent for what feels like forever. We are both unsure of where to begin. I decide to break the silence. "If I could go back to that day in Italy, I’d do things differently. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I left things the way I did. You deserve an explanation." I finish and wait for her reaction. The air getsheavier, and she doesn't respond. I notice she's not even looking me in the face anymore. Her face is buried in the loose thread of her dress sleeve. I move to prod her. "Ella, please say…"
"I'm pregnant, Antonio." Swift and weighty, the words jab at my gut, and I cough. She immediately jerks her head up and glares at me.
Minutes pass, and I'm surfing through my head for the right response and coming blank. This was not even remotely close to anything I thought she wanted to talk about. I'm not ready for this. "You're pregnant," I sound more like I'm confirming what she has just said rather than seeking clarity. "You don't think that..." my voice trails off when I see the look in her eyes.
"Listen, Antonio, I don't expect you to be a part of this baby's life. If I had it my way, I wouldn't even be here letting you know. But I don't, so here I am. You know what my financial situation is like. I don't want my child to grow up lacking because I can't afford to get what the kid wants."
"It's our child, not ‘my child,’" I mumble under my breath.
"What did you say?" She asks.
"Nothing." I'm relieved that she is okay with me being out of the picture because, as I said, I’m not ready for this. On the other hand, I'm angry that she was quick to decide that she doesn't want me to be part of their lives. I want time to think about this.
"Do you understand what I just said?" I can sense a touch of hesitancy in her voice.
"Yes, if that's what you want," I respond soberly. I place a call to my lawyer, wanting to be done with everything quickly. After about an hour, we're done signing the necessarydocuments. I write what would be the first in a series of checks written in the shadows.
She takes the check without a hint of emotion and leaves. Left sitting alone in my office, I reflect on whether or not I've made yet another brilliant but terrible decision.
Chapter 12
Antonio
It’s nearly impossible to think about that night in Italy without feeling the pain in my heart. The excitement of making Ella mine had faded away too quickly and instead the overwhelming sense of guilt had taken over. When I walked out of that hotel room with Ella lying on the bed that bright morning, I thought it would only be a matter of time before I'd forget about her. And it was true for the most part. Slowly but surely, I was erasing her from my mind the moment I flew into Seattle. I dove head-first into my work. It was working well, until she showed up.
Things aren't the same after her visit. I readily agreed to detach myself from her life, only contacting her through my lawyer to send in the monthly checks for our child-to-be. But I have quickly realized that the arrangement is not sustainable. Everything has been messy since she left my office that day. I haven't been able to make a single decision without clouded judgment. And all my thoughts, even the random ones, lead back to Ella.
But first things first. This morning I decide to fly back to Italy to settle things with my father. I also plan to see Sergio and tell him about the current situation. No doubt, he may have already heard from Grace.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Condor Airlines welcomes you to Italy. The local time is 15:02. For your safety, and the safety of those around you, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened. Keep the aisles clear until we are parked at the gate." The pilot's announcement yanks me from my train of thoughts.
The moment I get off the plane, I call my father to inform him of my arrival, then I call Sergio to inform him that I'll be coming over to see him as well.
When I reach the Villa, my father is happy to see me. This is surprising, considering how we parted ways the last time. He welcomes me with open arms and I can’t help but wonder if he is scheming for a new plot. My mother has been preparing lunch and set it before us on the table. We eat in silence. After our meal is finished, my father invites me to sit with him in the garden for fresh air, an invitation I gladly accept.
We talk extensively about many things… We have been having such a good time together that we didn’t want to ruin it with arguments; therefore, we are both careful as we inch closer to the topic of marriage. I decide that stalling won't do good, as I have so much to go through on my mind. There's a lot I need to deal with, so I need to hit the nail on the head and I need to do it now.
