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When I bring up the issue of Maria, he's surprisingly calm. I explain why we could not work things out and even tell him about my discussion with Maria. I decide to take the high road and not paint her a bad picture before my parents. We may not tolerate each other, but she doesn't deserve the insult.
"If that's what you want, son, it’s fine with me.” His response brought both shock and relief all at once. This is not the same man who made me flee Italy 15 years ago. He has changed somehow.
"Do you have someone else on your mind, Antonio?" My mother had overheard our discussion as she walked towards us in the garden.
“As a matter of fact, I do."
"When do we get to meet her then?"
"It's a bit complicated at the moment."
"Then uncomplicate it. We won't be around forever, Antonio. We'd very much like for you to give us grandkids before we leave." My mother's tone is firm, but I can see in her eyes that she has so much love that she wants to dole out.
"I'm working on it. Soon, very soon." I try as much as possible to believe the words as they leave my tongue. I consider telling them about the pregnancy but decide against it. It would come as a surprise.
I bid my parents goodbye at about 7:00 pm. On my way out, I noticed a flier for a one-week retreat that ended two days ago. I imagine my father must have attended. Maybe that's where the change of heart came from. I smile at the thought of the old man sitting for a sermon about leaving your kids to make their own decision.
Grace is out in the garage when I arrive at their place. She smiles and welcomes me with a hug before leading me inside to where Sergio is. "Ah, mio fratello." Sergio greets me with a hug. "How was your flight?"
"It was great. You look well, Sergio. Grace has been treating you well, I see."
"Yes, she has," he says and looks over at his wife and blows her a kiss. I envy their happiness. It is something I've found difficult to achieve. “You'll join us for dinner, no? Grace has something delicious cooking."
"Actually, I’m just coming from my parents. I had a lot to eat already. I was thinking maybe we could get drinks at our usual spot."
"If that's what you want, brother. But I tell you, you're missing out on something very delicious."
"I'm sure I will regret it," I say with a smile and bid Grace goodbye.
It's not very busy at the bar that we frequent tonight. We sit at the booth in the corner and order some drinks. There’s no sense delaying my predicament any longer. I need the advice of my friend. "So, I'm guessing you already know what this is about, Sergio."
"No idea, bro. How could I? You haven't said a word. I'm starting to think it's some high profile, classified, secret organization situation that you can't really talk about." He can’t say this without bursting into a fit of laughter. Hmm, I suppose Ella has decided to keep it under wraps for now.
"So, it’s about Ella."
"Okay, what about her?"
"You know how we had a situation going?"
"Yeah, well, I made the match, remember? I'm the matchmaker, and I'm never wrong," he says smugly.
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that," I jest. " So anyway, I'm in a tight position right now."
"Enough with the codes bro, just come out and say whatever it is."
"Alright. I got her pregnant."
"Congrats man. I told you I'm never wrong, you two are perfect for each other." He realizes that he's the only one amused at this moment. "What's with the gloomy expression? I fail to seethe problem here. You're both grown-ups. You can talk things out?”
"Well, the thing is, she doesn't want me to be a part of their lives. Besides, I'm not sure I'm ready to start a family."
"That’s crap man. Wait, hold on, did you do anything to make her think you were not ready for a family?"
"I don't know. I didn't come out and say it, if that's what you’re asking."
"Don’t be stupid bro! You're going to let something so good slip away from you because you're scared that you're not ready? I’ll tell you something, Antonio, you better man up and go get that girl. She’s pregnant withyourkid and she’s going to need you to get through this. Otherwise, you're going to live your life regretting what would've happened if only you had grown some balls."
With that, I know exactly why I wanted to come here. I come to see Sergio because I know he'd grill me about being an ass, for not being truthful to myself and Ella, and he’d give me the realization I needed to go after Ella. She is not the same as any other girls I’ve slept with in the past. I cannot deny my feelings for her anymore. The way my heart skips a beat when I see her isdamnproof that we belong to each other. The only thing on my mind now is the thought of regretting not doing everything I could to hold on to her.
