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"Sarah," I glared at her. "We shared a bed together and he introduced me to his family... as his ‘pretend girlfriend’."
"Gosh, what a jerk," Sarah shook her head. "The last time I saw you this upset was when you broke up with your boyfriend back in high school."
She draped a comforting arm around me and I took it as an opportunity to bury my head in her shoulder and sob even louder.
I’m too young to be settling down," I repeated myself, barely managing to let out through choked sobs. "And here I thought we had been getting along so well."
"Kathy," Sarah smoothed her hand down my hair, "Never assume that you have anything going on with a man unless they outrightly tell you."
"It's not like I’m delusional or something," I exclaimed. "I mean, when he's with me... it just feels like we have a connection. It's undeniable but I can’t explain it even if I tried."
"Okay, okay," Sarah seemed skeptical. "Then why hasn't he claimed you as his girlfriend yet? If the connection is really as special as you say it is."
I was speechless. Of course, the loss of words only led me to sob even harder.
"Oh Kathy, you poor thing," Sarah's voice softened. "Look at me. You need to stop crying. He's not worth the tears."
"I just thought that we really had something going on," I said, wiping away some of my tears.
"And that is completely okay," Sarah squeezed my hand gently. "We all make mistakes like that."
"Am I too immature for him?"
Even though I hadn't vocalized these things in front of Dylan, I had a gnawing insecurity in the back of my mind that maybe our age gap was the real reason that things couldn't work out between the two of us. It felt embarrassing to say it in front of him, but with Sarah, I felt like I could let it all out.
"Don't be ridiculous," she reprimanded me immediately. "You have always been years ahead of your age in terms of your maturity. Besides, we’re all adults here. There are no minors."
I frowned in response and she squeezed my hand even tighter.
"Trust me. You are fucking gorgeous, smart, and in the best shape of your life. He is an idiot for passing up someone like you," Sarah concluded, sounding very sure of herself.
"He probably wants me to 'act' my age," I said, looking down. "Whatever that means."
"Then maybe you should do exactly that," Sarah encouraged. "Show him what he is missing out on."
"What are you saying?" My eyes widened as I grasped the possibility of what she could have meant.
"You know what I mean," she nudged me, playfully. "You're in New York, you're young and you're hot. I think it's time for you to get back into the dating game."
"God, even the thought of that is scary," I shuddered, shaking my head at her suggestion.
"It's your call," Sarah replied in a coy tone. "It's either sulking at home over a man who doesn't want you or having fun by putting yourself out there."
I sucked in a sharp breath. "Right now, all I want to do is eat this ice cream and cry some more," I muttered, feeling pathetic.
"Then do it," Sarah replied. "But tomorrow when you walk into that office again, you better hold your head up high and not let him know that he hurt you."
"Sarah," I said, after taking a small moment to ruminate in my own thoughts. "Do you think I'll ever find love?"
"Of course you will," she replied without skipping a beat. "Anyone would be lucky to have you. Getting a chance to be with you is like hitting the lottery, you know? It doesn't just happen to anyone."
I had to laugh at her exaggerations. Suddenly, I was overcome with a feeling of gratitude that I had such an amazing friend who was willing to cheer me up when I was down in the dumps.
"Thank you," I whispered to her as I wrapped her into a hug. "No more crying over Dylan anymore."
"Pinky promise?" Sarah flashed me a grin.
"Pinky promise."
