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Chapter 18
Kathy
Isat at my desk bright and early the next morning at work. The office was unusually quiet for a Monday morning, save for the occasional rustle of papers and the sound of other colleagues typing away on their keyboard.
I took a sip of my coffee, trying to focus my attention back on the present moment. Every now and then, I would glance over at Dylan's office. He hadn’t come in yet.
"Oh, come on," I whispered impatiently to myself, staring at my watch.
I had managed to get a hold of my emotions to a great degree since last night, and finally felt composed enough to look at things from a different perspective.
Whenever I felt like being sad, I repeated Sarah's words of advice to myself. There was no denying now that I had indeed fallen for Dylan. That's why it hurt so much that my feelings were not reciprocated.But if I had any hope of getting over him, I had to maintain a strictly professional relationship from this point onward. There was no other way.
"Good morning, Kathy."
I nearly jumped up in my seat as I heard his voice come out of nowhere. I must have been so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice when he had come in.
"Good to see you here so early in the morning," he smiled at me before heading to his own office.
"Dylan, wait," I said, clumsily getting up from my chair and following him to the door. "Do you have a moment to speak with me?"
He raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway."Sure, you can come into my office."
I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself as I followed him into his office. He immediately took a seat and gestured for me to do the same. But I declined, preferring to stand instead.
"I need to speak to you about..." I hesitated for a moment. "Our arrangement."
Dylan sighed in response. I could tell from his expression that this was the last thing he felt like talking about.
"Sure," he said. "What would you like to talk about?" He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of him.
"Um, given what happened yesterday at your apartment..." I started to explain but he cut me off midway. I was looking at the floor the whole time and I hadn't even realized that he had gotten up from his chair, but he was standing next to me.
"Listen, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that," he was towering over me now. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before how tall he was compared to my own petite frame.
"I hope you weren’t too upset about that," he continued, though now he was standing close enough that I could feel the body heat emanating from him.
I took a step back. Just being near him was enough to send my head spinning. I hated how much control he had over my emotions even though he did not mean any of it.
"I’m fine," I lied without meeting his gaze. "But I think we need to establish some clearer boundaries moving forward."
"Boundaries?" he repeated as though I had just used a dirty word. "What are you referring to, exactly?"
"Dylan," I sighed, forgetting for a moment that I was speaking to my boss. "You know what I’m talking about. I can’t be your 'pretend girlfriend' anymore. Ever."
There was a moment of silence as he tried to process what I had just said to him. When he finally spoke up again, I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
"And what is the reason for that?" he asked and then his tone got deeper, more possessive. "Are you seeing someone else?"
I shook my head immediately. "Not at the moment. But even if I wanted to do that, this whole situation that we’re in would really put a wrench on those plans. We are not dating, so this isn’t fair to either of us," I said, firmly.
"I see," Dylan retreated to his chair, leaning back and folding his arms in front of him. "I just don't understand why you want to end our arrangement out of the blue, if you are still single."
"That's precisely why," I groaned, feeling like I was at my wits end "Because you use words like ‘end our arrangement’ to describe something that I think should be a lot more personal."
"I understand," he said after a while, though I could still sense the annoyance in his tone. "But what do you propose I do now?"
"If there is anything you need help with at work, I am one hundred percent on board. But no more pretending to be lovers," I told him.
